Introducing Mr. and Mrs. Rex Neely

Over the past few years, I've written quite a few blogs, which many of you have read, and therefore have been included on my journey in a round-about-way.  The last few years have been quite a process, but looking back, there was always a bigger picture. What I didn't know when I started this blog was that it was giving me a voice that turned out to be a ministry of sorts, proving that God really can use any and all things to do His work.  There have been so many tears shed by me and on behalf of me in the past, so I'm finally glad to have something happy to report!  In 2011 alone, there have been so many full circle moments and "AH-HAs" that God has used to teach me some valuable lessons...mainly that His ways are better than my ways all the time! 

The biggest light-bulb moment thus far happened on October 22nd as I stood on the white, sandy beach of Destin, Florida and said "I Do!" to the love of my life, Mr. Rex Neely.  All of my mistakes, hurts and questions of the past got answered on that day.  I knew without a shadow of a doubt that the Lord had been preparing me for that moment for quite awhile.  Our wedding was a celebration of our trust in the Lord, even in some dark times, and hanging on to His promises in the good times and the bad. During our ceremony, I had this sense of cherishing every second and not wanting to forget one thing that was said or was happening as it was all so very surreal.  I remember thinking as we got towards the end that I never wanted it to end and I wanted the minister to slow down!  I was so enjoying every moment!  We both really wanted to feel God's presence on our special day and several things happened that made us both smile and reassure us that He was most certainly smiling down upon us.

First off, the weather was absolutely perfect.  Not too cold, not too hot, not windy, not humid, not a cloud in the sky...absolutely perfect.  I had worried about that part of it, and I had to smile as I walked down the "aisle" that God had created the perfect day.  Later, my sister told me that all during the ceremony and while we were having pictures made after, there was a Monarch butterfly following me around, to the point of people beginning to notice (everyone except me!)...I like to think of it as a little guardian angel fluttering about and protecting us! Despite being on a public beach, we had picked a remote place in hopes that the wedding would not be gawking-material for every random tourist.  There were people at a distance in their beach chairs soaking up the sun but they were SILENT during the ceremony.  I could see several of them hanging on our every word!  After the minister pronounced us 'Mr. and Mrs. Neely', we turned around to the sound of our "guests" clapping, which was sweet, unexpected and made us laugh.  Later, after the cake was cut and we were relaxing before dinner, two of the beach goers came over to our table and introduced themselves.  They had been laying on the beach all day and when they saw the area being set up for the wedding earlier in the day, they decided they should pray for whoever was getting married later.  As we visited with these complete strangers, they said after hearing our vows, then knew we were Christians and they could just tell how much we loved one another, how happy we were and they knew God had asked them in advance to cover us in prayer.  What do you say to that?!  (That caused me and my sister to cry yet again!).  We never saw them again, but I will always remember their sweet words and how they allowed God to use them.  Besides those two sweet ladies, I can not tell you how many phone calls, texts, emails and Facebook messages we got from friends and family saying they were praying at 3pm for us, which was the time of the wedding.  I can tell you, however, that each of those prayers were felt.  We are so blessed to have such wonderful support!  And lastly, that night as we sat on the beach for our private "toes in the sand" dinner, God delivered the most gorgeous sunset I have ever seen in my life-to-date.  It truly was a work of art that felt like it has been hand-painted just for us.  Even though I know there isn't much perfect in this fallen, messed-up world we live in, that day felt perfect.  It was all we hoped for, looked forward to and so much more!  I know that did not happen by accident...it was because God was there in some mighty ways making sure of it.

For all of you who have prayed for me over the years, thank you from the bottom of my heart.  God answered so many prayers and redeemed the pain of the past on October 22nd for both Rex and I...and He's not done yet!  This truly marks a beginning for the two of us, not just as husband and wife, but in how the Lord is going to use us to do His work in the future.   Exciting times for the Neely Family!

 Romans 8:28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

JOY

Rex & Joy Neely

Someone Pinch Me!

As I sit here at my desk today, I can't believe that in 48 hours, I will be Mrs. Rex Neely.  Someone needs to come over to my office and pinch me so I can make sure this has not all been a dream!  Sure, I'm excited about going to Florida, having a beautiful wedding on the beach with the man I love and getting to spend a week uninterrupted, just the two of us.  Who wouldn't be excited about that?  But more than that, I can't wait to be married to this man and just do life with him every day and see God's promises to me fulfilled.

You see, back before Rex was even in the picture, God sent me to His word over and over to specific promises in Isaiah that I WOULD be married, I WOULD have a family and He WOULD restore all I lost double-fold.  Over and over again, He assured me that life was not over...quite the opposite, it was finally going to begin.  I clung to those promises and the verses of Jeremiah 29:11 and Habakkuk 2:3 that God did have a plan and a purpose for me; it just wasn't the right time just yet.  I believed it all, but it was very hard to wrap my head around at that time.  It all seemed so...impossible?  Unlikely?  Crazy?  But our God is a crazy, out-of-the-box type of God!

So fast forward to when Rex and I began to just reconnect friend-wise.  We had shared a lot of time talking, texting, and emailing and just rekindling the friendship from years past.  I went home one weekend to visit my family, and he invited me to his church, as he was leading worship that weekend.  I sat next to his parents during the service and I was floored by the worship music and reminded of how very talented he was and I thoroughly enjoyed it all.  But, right in the middle of the worship set, God spoke a word over me that literally made me look around to see if anyone else had heard it!  Loud and clear, He said that THIS MAN would be my husband (and of course I started to cry).  Again, in this moment, he and I just being friends, that seemed so bizarre.  There was no romance yet or even dating.  I had been praying for God to pick out my husband for me if He so desired as I did a pretty awful job of that the last go-round.  But Rex Neely?  The guy who had been a friend forever and I grew up with?  Who actually SANG AT MY FIRST WEDDING (who says God doesn't have a sense of humor!?)?  It's not that I was not attracted to him; I thought he was the greatest thing since sliced bread!  But, I didn't think he thought of ME in that way.  And of top of all of that, I was so far from being interested in dating much less marriage in that moment!  I almost felt guilty sitting next to his family having these thoughts...like they might figure it out and someone would escort me out of the church in a straight jacket!  I told very few people of this experience because, let's face it, it made me look like a nut!  The people I did tell prayed along side of me...prayed for doors to close or open according to God's will for my life.  I guess I don't have to tell you what happened from there...

This weekend, some friends had an engagement party for us and these were the same friends that have been through hell with me in the past, who prayed for me and believed in God's faithfulness despite some dark times in my life.  It was so wonderful to be able to celebrate and laugh and just see God's hand all over the past years.  One of them wrote to me on Monday and I wanted to share an excerpt from her email as I couldn't describe the present time any better:

      "Do you remember that huge jet fuel tanker that wrecked and blew up in Roanoke on 114 about a month or so ago? It burned for so long, like 8 or 9 hours. Just HUGE fireballs and thick black smoke all afternoon and evening. I pass the scorched median and the road with the blackest of black burns on my way to work each morning. Today the traffic was backed up so what I would usually zip right past, I had a chance to sit and stare at for a minute. The Earth there is just obliterated. I mean, if you looked at it now and had never seen it before you’d think it was never going to recover. Just raw! Having seen it every day though, I’ve seen small improvements in the time since. Today though, I can see these brilliantly green, though few and far between, blades of grass starting to poke up in the midst of this char. It reminded me of your situation and how God is at work even when things look completely hopeless from our perspective. I love that God took what Satan intended for evil and pain and brought abundant beauty and joy out of the ashes. I mean, this has to be a little surreal for you…who would have thought, on your very worst day in your darkest hour during the divorce, that God already knew His plan for you and it was going to be SOOOO good?!?! I love that God was already at work within your heart and in Rex’s to prepare you each for the other. That little bit of bright green grass this morning was God using nature to remind me of the hope that is always there when we trust in Him. I am so, so grateful for a front row seat to watch this miracle that has taken place in your life. I barely know Rex but I absolutely love him because I feel like I’ve seen God’s fingerprints on everything that has happened between y’all. He is the human answer to all of our prayers for you but SOOO much better than we even knew to ask God for."

So now, you understand why I sit here, in awe and amazement at what God has done and what events have unfolded to have me preparing for my wedding day to the man God promised to me some time ago.  It is a wonderful feeling to see His promises come full circle and for Him to answer my prayers in such a real and tangible way.  And God did bring me a double portion because I'm not just getting one man...I'm getting two with Rex and his son, Brady! How's that for being very intentional and specific?!  There is such peace, joy and contentment as I prepare to make a covenant to the man God created specifically for ME...it's a feeling that just can't be described.  I love the fact that the Lord loves me that much to give me such a sweet second chance for a do-over here on Earth.  God is good and faithful to complete what He starts...even if sometimes we just can't understand the time frame.  Wait for it...it certainly will come!

Headed to the chapel,

Joy Almost-Neely :)

Who's Wearing the Crown in My Life?

Right now, my life is filled with blessings that are too numerous to count.  Every day overflows with joy.  I'm in a season of mountain top experiences and I won't lie...I love it.  It's much more fun to be in this place vs the trials and tribulations I've faced in the past in life's painful valleys. 

But still, I struggle.
That may sound bizarre after my over-flowing-with-happiness statement above BUT I'm realizing that it is much more difficult to cling on to God and be desperate for Him when life is bliss.  Truth be told, you are never closer to God than when you have hit rock-bottom.  When you are knocked down to your knees, it is more natural to be seeking the Lord's will, giving Him control of your life and be in complete submittal to His plan.  Or maybe that's just me?  On the flip side of that coin, when life is on easy street and blessings are just falling out of the sky into your lap, it becomes tempting to start grabbing back some of that control and becoming independent, even if it's on a subconscious level.   

The Lord keeps gently reminding me to stay grounded in His will in various ways, and today, it was while I was having my own little private praise and worship time as I drove down I-635 North in Dallas (for all those early morning commuters that passed me, I'm sorry if you thought I was having an epileptic seizure.  I was just expressing my freedom to worship however I so choose, even if that might be non-conventional!).  I find it interesting that you can listen to the same song a million times and then on that million and oneth time, something very fresh and new hits you between the eyeballs and grabs your attention, such as these lyrics from different songs:

• And when I'm doing well, help me to never seek a crown. For my reward is giving glory to YOU. (Keith Green)
• Give me grace to see beyond this moment here, to believe there is nothing left to fear.  And you were on it, high above it all, and you, My God, are greater still! (Natalie Grant)
• This is my prayer in the harvest, where favor and providence flow. I know I'm filled to be emptied again...the seed I've received I will sow. (Hillsong)

I think the ultimate example is in the lyrics of the Keith Green song..."help me to never seek a crown"...ouch!  Isn't that what the world would brainwash us to do?  When things go our way, we pat ourselves on the back and conduct our own little ceremony to crown ourselves for being so brilliant and successful.  In reality, we need to give the "attaboy" to the Lord, because the blessings and favor flow down directly from Him and Him alone.   

Don't get me wrong...there is nothing wrong with being blessed and the Lord bringing GOOD into your life.  Embrace it!  Enjoy it!  Praise Him for it!  I've just been reminded to be sure to give credit where credit is due and to continue to seek Him with the same intensity on the mountain tops as in the valleys.

Am I the only one who struggles with staying grounded during the mountaintops of this life?

Keepin' It Real,

JOY

Beauty from the Ashes, aka I'm Getting Married!

Last week, the man I love with all my heart, got down on one knee and asked me to marry him and spend the rest of our lives together.  And of course...I said YES!

Is that sinking in?  Yes, I'm engaged.  Do what?!  It's hard to imagine when I think back a year ago on my life and see all the amazing things God has done.  But even I, with all my hopes and expectations did not expect that on October 22nd of this year, I would be saying "I Do" again.  This season of engagement, wedding and marriage is the culmination of a promise that God made to me about a year ago.

Let me back track for a minute...last year when I went on my "Assignment Solitude" journey, the Lord really spoke some amazing promises to me.  Some were very unbelievable at that time...and I mean VERY.  One in particular was the fact that I would be married again and I would have a family.  The Lord kept leading me to Isaiah 61 over and over and stressing that point to me.  To someone who is 35 years old, that seems a little bit laughable.  Especially when you throw in the fact that I had zero interest in dating anyone.  Let's just say I wasn't a very willing candidate for dating, much less marriage.  Don't get me wrong, I still believed in love and I believed marriage could be forever and that two people could stick to their covenant vows...I had seen it, and I knew it existed.  But did I think it would happen anytime soon?  No, I really didn't.  I thought maybe five years or so on down the road if I ever started to have some remote interest in dating, maybe I would meet "the guy", but I was not concerned about it.  Friends and family would say, "You won't be single long" or something of that nature and it honestly made me mad!  I was happy for the first time in a long time and it didn't depend on anyone but the Lord.  I had found my "source" and I knew He would never let me down.  I was never the "I hate men/scorned woman" by any means.  But at the same time, it just really didn't hold much interest to me.  The thought of going on a date?  Going on a series of bad dinners just to have someone else pay?  Ummm, no thanks.  I could buy my own dinner and actually enjoy it and at the same time, avoid awkward silence while pretending to get to know someone just so you can get your friend off your back in order to convince them you are not a lonely cat lady of sorts!

And then, of course enters Mr. Rex Neely...someone I've actually known my entire life as he grew up across the pasture from me and I had always considered a friend.  His family and mine have always been friends, and even though I hadn't seen him in about ten years, I had kept up with him through my family.  We reunited as friends and started catching up on the past decade and through renewing the friendship, I realized that there was a lot more to this guy than I ever knew (as I told my friends, a guy sharing his heart and what God is doing in his life is just H.O.T.!  I never stood a chance!).  In fact, the years had brought him his own source of trials and there were many similarities in our situations, even the way we had come out of those same trials.  We had both allowed God to refine us through some very difficult times and we had done a lot of growing up and maturing in the process.  After months of just talking, we started to hang out as friends and over a period of months, we became best friends.  I realized early on that there was more there than just friends and I prayed constantly that the Lord would close the door on my feelings if this is not what He wanted (and little did I know, Rex was praying the same thing!).  Quite the opposite happened...every door kept flying open and God even spoke directly to me more than once that Rex would be my husband (yeah, that freaked me out more than a little bit).  In March, we finally had "The Talk" and both admitted that this had become more than just friends (thank goodness we both felt exactly the same!)...and now what were we going to do?!  There was a lot of praying going on but we both felt the green light on entering into dating and we did so cautiously because neither of us wanted to lose the friendship. Fortunately, it entered into a relationship quickly and the foundation of friendship that we had established just became a catalyst for the relationship.

I'll admit, for both of us, it was pretty amazing and shocking to see how we were so perfect for one another from the beginning.  I'm far from perfect but it turns out, I'm perfect for him and vice versa.  He knows how to handle my moods and what to say when I'm having a bad day, and just how to encourage me and remind me of the promises the Lord has given to me.  The deepness of the relationship, even in the early days, was astounding to me.  I had never known what I was missing out on before but I finally began to see that my past relationship was very superficial.  I saw what can happen when you give the Lord the reins and you let HIM infuse you with love for the other person.  It just takes things to an entirely different level!  It didn't take us long to see that God made us for one another and that He was giving us a second chance to let Him lead this time.  All those lessons we learned were not in vain after all!  I can honestly say that all the pain of the past is totally worth it to be where I'm at today...no regrets.  It finally all makes sense and I'm glad for those trials that made me who I am today in order for me to receive this gift that God has in store for me.

In past relationships, there has always been something maybe that didn't line up quite right.  Things that don't seem like a big deal, and you think "I can live with that"...but they are compromises.  So, it's amazing when there are no red flags, or compromises, at all in this journey.  Everything has lined up and God has continued to confirm the relationship over and over again.  That peaceful feeling and being in the center of God's will just can't be beat.  God never makes false promises and not only am I getting married, I'm also gaining a wonderful, almost-16 year old son that I love dearly and am thrilled to be a part of his life!  What seemed laughable a year ago, is now a very real and tangible fufilled promise. 

I love this man with all of my heart and I have a strong desire to be that Proverbs 31 wife to him and to be in a marriage where we honor God and serve Him together.  As excited as I am about rings, wedding plans, and the honeymoon, I am MUCH more excited about entering into a marriage for the rest of my life with a man who is my best friend and I love so deeply and who loves me in return in the same way.  I'm looking forward to the next season of our lives and what God has in store for us.  Such beauty out of the ashes of our past failures!

For those of you who may be now where I've been in the past and you just can't see how love and life can ever be different, hold on for what God has in store for you!  Yes, the slate can be wiped clean and ALL things can be made new again.  Yes, the pain of past mistakes and hurts can be redeemed.  Yes, you can trust and love again and whatever you lost can be restored in a double portion!  And Yes, love can be so much better the second time around!  Do not put God in a box or limit what you think He can do because He truly can do more than we ask or imagine.  Hold on to that and let Him rewrite your love story...He knows every desire of your heart and He holds the master plan! 

Thankful for Grace!

JOY