Assignment Solitude

A few months back, I read Brennan Mannings', Ragamuffin Gospel, for the first time.  Wow...I was blown away after reading the book!  He came and spoke years ago at our church and I have never forgotten that message.  He's so real and a bit in your face when he speaks, and brutally honest to a fault, but I appreciate that in a person.  He writes the same way and his book left an impression on me in so many ways (if you haven't read it, read it now!).

One of the things he talks about in his book is a time period where he basically went on a sabbatical and just was alone in nature for a period of days in solitude and absolute silence.  He spent the time searching for God, listening to His voice and completely quieted his life.  I may be the only one in the world that remembers this part of the book, but for me, that was radical and one of those things I thought, "that would be cool to do, but who has the time?"

Since I have just recently written a blog on quiet time and the importance of it, God thought to remind me of this yet again.  But this time, I started thinking how I could take a similar journey in my life.  And the more I thought on it, the more excited I became...to the point of getting online and looking for secluded cabins in nature where I could hike or sit and stare at God's creation and the wonder of His world.  I haven't been this excited about something in awhile.  I mean, I couldn't even sleep!  I was like a kid on Christmas eve waiting for Christmas morning!!!  (I know...I'm losing it and must get out more!)

I ended up finding the perfect place (which I will not tell you where because the point is SOLITUDE and I don't want to be found) and I started checking availability on my end and theirs and came up with a perfect weekend (again, it is a secret but a few months off).  My mind was racing...no cell phones, no TV, no movies, no radio/music, no text messages, no interaction with a human of any kind, no talking for three days, no computers, no facebook, no blogs...nothing but me, God, and a cabin in seclusion.  A fast of sorts if you want to look at it from that angle.  I plan on doing a lot of writing, a lot of praying and a lot of sitting and quieting my mind and just....being still.  I know this sounds like the worst idea in the world to some of you, and it would have been for me too a few years ago but now, I'm craving it.  I've learned to embrace the silence of the day and actually ENJOY it and look forward to it.

It wasn't until two days later that I realized something.  This perfect weekend that I picked out will be the one year anniversary of the day my husband packed his things, walked out of my life and said he wanted a divorce to my absolute shock.  The day, one year ago, that my world shattered onto the ground into a million little pieces and I had no idea what was about to happen.  The day, I went to my knees and was broken before God, as the one person I loved on this Earth more than anything was simply gone, in an instant, and my life was about to change forever.

To be honest, at first I thought, well no way can I do it THAT weekend.  I need to surround myself with people, activities, fun, happy things...noise.  But then, I started to realize that this was no coincidence.  God directed me down this path, to this place, to that weekend for a reason.  And the more I thought about it, the more I thought how better to spend that milestone day than with my best friend, my Lord and my Savior?  I have no idea what He's going to reveal to me during that weekend but I know it will be a sweet time, it will fill my spirit, and it will probably help me look back and process some of the past year.  I hope to look back on all I have learned thus far, where He's taken me and maybe even where He is about to lead me on my journey in the upcoming year.

So to those of you that think I cannot be quiet for three days, just wait and see!  I'm sure when I'm back, there will be plenty of material for many blogs so you will get a little sneek peek into the events of that particular weekend.  I guess you can say I'm taking my own advice and carving out my own solitude in order to let God do what He does best...love, mold and shape His children.

Let the countdown to solitude begin!

JOY

PS  Since I talked recently about my quiet spot and the beauty of the morning, I wanted to include this picture.  Taken from where I sit and do my quiet time and watch the sunrise most mornings...this is taken with a camera phone so it is much more beautiful in real life but I just had to share!  Every day, it looks different, which is just so cool to see the wonders that God has created!