Sometimes I read things that stick with me and really make an impression on me. This week was one of those times when I read Pastor Mark Batterson's blog and a quote just dominated my thoughts all week, "You can't pray for open doors if you aren't willing to accept closed doors". When I read that, I literally said "OUCH" out loud! I couldn't agree more...but at the same time I do not like it one bit!
The last two weeks for me have been a period of a lot of doors shutting in my face...and I don't care who you are or how confident you are in the Lord's plan for your life, but that's tough. It gets to you, or at least it does me. It's hard to continue to keep the focus and wait on the Lord's promises that you are sure of, but yet, aren't moving at the speed you would wish them to move. Let's face it, we all want the open doors but when roadblocks get thrown up, we begin to doubt and lose focus pretty darn quick. Currently, there's a really big, life changing event that I'm waiting on the Lord's timing to make happen because without Him, it's next to impossible to be quite honest. I was keeping a really positive attitude on the subject for about three months until two weekends ago. I was on the way home from a Bible study and church and it was just one of those times I felt the Lord's presence very heavy all around me. And I just began to cry out to God in near desperation, frustration and maybe a little bit of anger, too. As in, YOU have planted this seed in my mind, YOU have said it will happen, YOU have made some very specific promises to me...so why do I keep hearing "No's" and constantly being discouraged?! But in all that built-up emotion, I just said, "YOU have to do this God, as YOU promised me that you would so I'm reminding you of that right now (man, can I be a brat or what?). There is no other way. I can't make it happen. You tell me to move, and I will move. But this has to be all YOU." In a way, it was like I just said "mercy" and finally surrendered the issue, which I'm sure is what God was waiting for me to do all this time.
After my little pity party, I realized that I really hadn't taken some steps I said I would take...so with a big gulp, I put a little toe in the water (still wasn't quite ready to jump on in!) and took a step in that direction. Within a week, some very BIG things began to happen and doors started swinging open and I started hearing "YES". I have to admit, even I was surprised! And suddenly, as the dream started becoming a bit of reality, I became nervous and a little scared to be honest. Sure, I was excited because here's the thing I've prayed so hard about beginning to happen...but it's a big step in my life and we all know change can be hard, especially for a recovering control-freak such as myself. I forgot in my frustration that when God moves, it can be very swift so you better hang on! There's still some big hurdles in this particular plan that have to be crossed, but at least I've witnessed the first of some miracles, which has built my faith and shown me that yes, with God the impossible is most certainly possible. And at the same time, it reaffirmed I was on the right path and my prayers were being heard. That's faith building.
So, I write this today to encourage those who are weary, tired and not seeing results in their current situations. You may be one closed door away from the open one...so don't give up. Cry out to God, surrender your issues to Him and wait on His perfect timing. He's never late.
Habakkuk 2:3 For the revelation awaits an appointed time; it speaks of the end and will not prove false. Though it linger, wait for it; it was certainly come and will not delay.
JOY
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