Redeeming Love

As people share their stories and open their hearts to me, I always have such sympathy for the pain they are going through and it takes me back to the days when I was in their shoes.  I can relate to their pain and I remember those days, yet I no longer cry my eyes out when I think back on my trials.  It happened, and I'm sad it happened...but it doesn't control my emotions anymore.  Quite the opposite in fact.  At the time, there were people in my life who had walked this road ahead of me who were able to mentor and encourage me, so I'm all too humbled to be able to be do the same and encourage others in the midst of their struggles.  As of late, the overwhelming thought that is bouncing around in my head as I discuss trials with different individuals is...redemption.

You see, when you are in a trial of any kind, it's pretty tough to think about next year, much less tomorrow.  You are so wrapped up in your grief, pain, and hurt, that you just can't imagine how life will ever be different.  And that's okay.  You must walk through the pain to learn the lessons and grow in the Lord.  It can't be avoided or short cycled as much as we wish it could!  I remember standing in my driveway watching my ex drive away packed down with all his stuff and being hit in the face with the fact that my marriage is over...and I remember thinking in that moment that life as I knew it would never be the same.  I felt I had my chance and I blew it...game over.  And I remember being very frightened by the unknown.  But you know what?  I was partially right that day.  My life is NOT the same...it's actually better than it was before if you can believe that.  As healing and acceptance occurs, we begin to move out of that pain, and we begin to be changed and transformed and allow God to work in our lives (which He's probably been waiting to do all along).  And that's a wonderful thing.

As I look back on the last year and a half of my life, some days, it almost seems like it happened to someone else.  I mean that because I really don't remember the pain now that I thought would never leave at the time.  I seriously couldn't fathom how I could ever even laugh again.  Sure I still remember what happened, but I don't focus on the hurt or disappointment or the shame in those moments any longer.  It really is a distant memory.  I thought it would take YEARS to feel this way, but it hasn't.  And that's a God thing.  That was a season of my life that was very necessary unfortunately, but it doesn't mean I have to stay in it.  At this point, I see God's hand and redemptive mercy all over my life and that's just an amazing thing.  I sometimes stop and reflect back on to where I was at this point even a year ago...and I cannot believe that life could be this good and full of joy in such a relatively short amount of time.  It's only because of God's redeeming love for me that got me from point A to point B.

Psalm 107:1-3

Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good;

his love endures forever.

Let the redeemed of the LORD tell their story—

those he redeemed from the hand of the foe,

those he gathered from the lands,

from east and west, from north and south.

For those of you going through a trial right now, I'm so very sorry.  I've been there and I do understand and I'm not making light of your pain and suffering...but take it from one who has been down the same road...it will get better.  When you are in the middle of the fight, you can't see how life can actually turn out better, but if you trust in the Lord and submit to His will, His word says the pain will be redeemed!  Put your hope and trust in Him and lean not on your own understanding but on His bigger picture plan.  I know that one day, you too will realize that you no longer are wrapped up in the pain and all of a sudden, you realize you are living again.  Second chances and redemption will come...and not a moment too late.

Habakkuk 2:3

For the revelation awaits an appointed time;

it speaks of the end

and will not prove false.

Though it linger, wait for it;

it will certainly come

and will not delay. 

Hoping for the hurting,

JOY

He Never Lets Go!

Divorce.  Affair.  Adultery.  Infidelity.  Addiction.  These are all words that quicken the heart rate and strike a chord of fear in one's life.  It's the news that no one wants to hear, yet every day we all hear the stories and some of us have lived through it.  They are rampant in our world today and it is hard to find a person in this world who hasn't walked through one of these things or experienced it with someone they are close to in their life.  They are destructive, devastating, damaging and simply heart-breaking and cause a tidal wave of grief, hurt, and pain to anyone in their midst and the associated families.  In short...they are a tool of the enemy and they are deadly to the Spirit.

I've always been very careful about what I blog about and I've purposefully avoided some of the above topics.  Let's call it the elephant in the room.  The reason being is I have no desire to be spiteful, revengeful and drag people through the mud, nor do I want to judge anyone else.  But we have an epidemic on our hands if you haven't noticed, and someone needs to be discussing this!  Who better than someone who has walked the path already.  So here we go...

Many of you who read my blog are hurting or you have been referred to my blog by a friend who knows my testimony and journey.  I can relate to your pain as one who has been there and lived it and believe me, I have sympathy like you cannot imagine for your circumstance.  Many of you are being dragged through a divorce RIGHT NOW that you don't want.  Been there, done that, got the T-shirt.  Others are pondering and leaning towards divorce, or having an extramarital affair and playing the "what if" game.  Some may be married, but are unhappy because their life has not turned out as they planned.  Maybe you are thinking about throwing in the towel on your marriage in this moment because it's just too hard and let's face it, you feel you deserve more than what you are currently getting in your relationship.  You've got more reasons that Carter has pills to why you simply just want out, and in your mind those reasons sound dang good right about now and you've convinced yourself you are justified.  I've heard them all before...many in my own life and personal experiences.  But the one thing you are discounting...and let's face it, the only thing that really matters...is that we serve an awesome God who is still in the miracle working business and He is able to make the impossible very possible.  And no, I don't know how He does it...He just does!  So I write and share this blog today to encourage those who are hurting; to give hope to the hopeless; and to speak truth to those who are maybe in denial about the slippery slope they are heading down. 

I've personally lived through exposing an affair and adultery in my own marriage, that as a result, caused the collapse of my marriage and lead to me being divorced and my ex marrying the other woman very shortly after.  I've lived through the hell, the shame, the disgrace and the pain that divorce and adultery can bring to one's life and to their family and friends and I don't wish THAT scenario on my worst enemy.  It's sickening, gut wrenching and really unable to be described.  However, I've also lived through the redemptive power that only Christ can bring to one's life and I've personally seen a miracle unfold in my life, not of my power and strength, but of the Lord's.  Let me say clearly, that I played a part as well in the collapse of my marriage because I lived with God in the margins of my life instead of allowing Him to be at the head of my marriage as He should have been.  I take responsibility for that as the wife and I'm not trying to play the victim here or the blame game.  But I did go through hell, and believe me, God never let go, even in my darkest hour when I wanted to give up because I just couldn't see how this could turn out in any way, shape or form positively.  Some days, I look back now and I can't even remember the person I once was...she no longer exists honestly.  There is a new creation in her place that only God can get the credit and the glory for creating and transforming, but she's still a work in progress.  Despite my cries and pleading to God, my own marriage was not reconciled.  And to be honest, God specifically told me during the process that the marriage would end.  That was difficult to accept then, but I now am beginning to see why.  God has plans for me and a calling on my life, some of which is unfolding now, and in the situation I was in before, those plans simply could not happen.  I don't know why God restores some marriages and not others because quite simply, I am not God (not even close).  But, for me, I see what a broken and contrite spirit did in my own life and how what I went through was a vehicle for refining and transformation my life.  I've lived before with God in the margins and let me attest, it is no way to live.  I'm now seeing true beauty from the ashes; repayment and restoration of what the locusts ate and devoured in my life; a double portion; rebirth, transformation and second chances that are so sweet and fill me with such joy and strength that I never thought possible just a short year ago.  I pray every day that I never go back to where I've been in the past.  I've truly experienced more than I could ask or imagine or even deserve when I was in my darkest hours.  Life is just better than it has ever been even though it has turned out not at ALL the way I thought or planned!

I share my heart with you that read my blog today for one simple reason: to plead with you to stop what you are doing, click on the link below and watch the video with an open heart and mind of the testimony shared by this sweet and very courageous couple.  Watch and see proof on the screen of what God can and will do with a broken and contrite spirit despite how we screw up with our poor decisions making.  It is powerful and not for the faint of heart...and you might want to grab a tissue because it is emotional.  I've walked the same road as this couple with totally different outcomes as far as my marriage was concerned, but the exact same outcome for the transformation God did in my life and in my heart.  No matter what the outcome may be in your own life and situation, believe that God is faithful in what He promises and put your trust not in yourself or someone else, but into God.  He's the only one that will never, ever, let you down.

http://www.tobyslough.com/god-on-the-margins/


Keep the faith,

JOY

Doors Shut but Windows Opening

Sometimes I read things that stick with me and really make an impression on me.  This week was one of those times when I read Pastor Mark Batterson's blog and a quote just dominated my thoughts all week, "You can't pray for open doors if you aren't willing to accept closed doors".  When I read that, I literally said "OUCH" out loud!  I couldn't agree more...but at the same time I do not like it one bit!

The last two weeks for me have been a period of a lot of doors shutting in my face...and I don't care who you are or how confident you are in the Lord's plan for your life, but that's tough.  It gets to you, or at least it does me.  It's hard to continue to keep the focus and wait on the Lord's promises that you are sure of, but yet, aren't moving at the speed you would wish them to move.  Let's face it, we all want the open doors but when roadblocks get thrown up, we begin to doubt and lose focus pretty darn quick. Currently, there's a really big, life changing event that I'm waiting on the Lord's timing to make happen because without Him, it's next to impossible to be quite honest.  I was keeping a really positive attitude on the subject for about three months until two weekends ago.  I was on the way home from a Bible study and church and it was just one of those times I felt the Lord's presence very heavy all around me.  And I just began to cry out to God in near desperation, frustration and maybe a little bit of anger, too.  As in, YOU have planted this seed in my mind, YOU have said it will happen, YOU have made some very specific promises to me...so why do I keep hearing "No's" and constantly being discouraged?!  But in all that built-up emotion, I just said, "YOU have to do this God, as YOU promised me that you would so I'm reminding you of that right now (man, can I be a brat or what?).  There is no other way.  I can't make it happen.  You tell me to move, and I will move.  But this has to be all YOU."  In a way, it was like I just said "mercy" and finally surrendered the issue, which I'm sure is what God was waiting for me to do all this time. 

After my little pity party, I realized that I really hadn't taken some steps I said I would take...so with a big gulp, I put a little toe in the water (still wasn't quite ready to jump on in!) and took a step in that direction.  Within a week, some very BIG things began to happen and doors started swinging open and I started hearing "YES".  I have to admit, even I was surprised!  And suddenly, as the dream started becoming a bit of reality, I became nervous and a little scared to be honest.  Sure, I was excited because here's the thing I've prayed so hard about beginning to happen...but it's a big step in my life and we all know change can be hard, especially for a recovering control-freak such as myself.  I forgot in my frustration that when God moves, it can be very swift so you better hang on!  There's still some big hurdles in this particular plan that have to be crossed, but at least I've witnessed the first of some miracles, which has built my faith and shown me that yes, with God the impossible is most certainly possible.  And at the same time, it reaffirmed I was on the right path and my prayers were being heard.  That's faith building.

So, I write this today to encourage those who are weary, tired and not seeing results in their current situations.  You may be one closed door away from the open one...so don't give up.  Cry out to God, surrender your issues to Him and wait on His perfect timing.  He's never late.

Habakkuk 2:3  For the revelation awaits an appointed time; it speaks of the end and will not prove false.  Though it linger, wait for it; it was certainly come and will not delay.


JOY

When God Asks You to Wait

As I've gotten more mature spiritually, I am noticing a repeating theme in my life that I hadn't recognized before.  God will reveal a plan or direction for my life that is just so amazing...and then He makes me wait to deliver on that promise.  I must be the most impatient person in the world because He can make me wait a LONG time on some of those promises!  And waiting isn't a new thing, but I think I'm finally seeing it as a God thing over the past few years of my life and beginning to appreciate the wait and what it does in the time period.

This topic has been on my mind recently, and interestingly enough, in the past few weeks, everything I pick up and read, a devotion someone emails me, or a friend's blog all have the same topic...Why God Makes Us Wait!  After the bombardment of material, I began to realize, I think this is something God wants me to sit down and reflect on and not ignore!  There are some issues that I'm doing a lot of waiting on right now in my life, and for maybe even the first time, I see I am content in the waiting.  I'm not throwing a tantrum or just rushing ahead of God's timing and forcing things to happen...I'm waiting.  Novel concept for me in some ways.  I did a search on youversion.com Bible with the keyword "waiting"...do you want to guess how many verses came up?  184...guess I'm not the only one who needs a little encouragement in this department!

In this fast-paced, have it your way, do-it-yourself, instant gratification, microwave society we live in today, I want to share a few things that waiting has done in my life over the past year.

1.  Strengthened my faith:  There's something to be said for waiting on a promise for the Lord, and then seeing that promise come to fruition.  That causes your faith to shoot through the roof and the next time you wait,  it becomes a little bit easier and you have a lot more confidence in God's perfect timing.

2.  Disciplined me:  I'm not saying I've been good at waiting every time, but as I've waited, I see it as a form of discipline and a part of being obedient to what God is telling me to do vs. the world.

3.  Stripped me of self control:  I think a big part of waiting is denying self and walking in the spirit.  It has helped me to see that I for sure don't have all the answers, but I serve a God who does.

4.  Developed my quiet time:  Waiting and sticking to your guns involves a lot of prayer time and
reading of the Word to continue to seek direction and get assurance you are on the right path.  That's been huge in my life and a precious time every day.

5.  Slowed me down:  In the waiting, I've become more...mellow.  I'm not as wound up or highly stressed as I was and I crave a much slower pace.  I say no to a lot more things now because I believe I'm more focused, not as easily distracted.

6.  Quit caring about what others think:  God has asked me to do some hard things, that really made me look like a fool some would say if they looked at the situation with worldly eyes.  There's been so many lies, rumors and stories told about me that I don't know whether to laugh or cry when I hear them.  But, I've learned, slowly at times, to not care what people of this world think.  I serve one Master and if I'm doing what He's told me to, then to me, that's what matters.  I'm not saying things don't hurt me, but I'm saying I don't allow them to sink in and stay with me.  I know the truth, the Lord knows the truth, and at the end of the day, that's all that matters.

6.  Look for the lessons:  During the waiting, I've found there are ALWAYS lessons to be learned.  I think if there wasn't, then there wouldn't be a waiting period!  God uses that time to get our attention and teach us and then when we are ready, let us move on to the next step.  Sometimes, we are just not ready to get to the Promise Land.

7.  Be open to all possibilities:  When God reveals a plan, many times He's not real specific on the how-to's of the plan, just the end result.  I've learned to look for any open or shut doors to help me navigate and stay on course.  Most of the time, the Lord's ways aren't necessarily my way, but I've got to be open and willing to take that step of faith.

8.  Let Go:  By waiting on God, I've learned to let go of past mistakes and stay in the present.  Maybe I failed the waiting game last time, but that's not a reflection on how I wait this time around.  Grabbing on to second chances as they present themselves is huge.

9.  Victory and favor at the end of the wait:  When you are finally on the other side of waiting, the rewards and the outcome are worth any agony that you went through during the process.  Priceless.

Isaiah 40:31 But those who wait for the Lord [who expect, look for, and hope in Him] shall change and renew their strength and power; they shall lift their wings and mount up [close to God] as eagles [mount up to the sun]; they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint or become tired.

I think Mark Batterson sums up why we wait best in his new book, Soulprint:  "Your day will come.  In the meantime, don't short-cirucit His plans and purposes by taking shortcuts.  God is setting you up.  He is making divine appointments.  But the bigger the opportunity, the longer it takes. The reason we get frustrated is because we think big without thinking long.  That is a recipe for disappointment.  Reevaluate your timeline.  And be encouraged when it takes longer than you exprected.  That simply means that God wants to do something immeasurabley more than all you can ask or imagine."

I'm learning the hard way, how to serve a crock-pot vs a microwave God.  It can be very easy to sit here and write about it but a whole different thing to live it.  So for those of you out there waiting, keep up the good fight.  Don't give up or give in...let the Lord bring about His desired purpose in your life.  You will be so glad you did!  Waiting is hard, even when you trust in God's timing, but I've learned that anything worth waiting for, is totally worth that wait.

JOY