Back in June, I wrote a blog on the day of what would have been my 8 year anniversary titled, "With This Ring" (http://joyisbell.blogspot.com/2010/06/with-this-ring.html), which talked about why I wore my wedding ring and how much my marriage had meant to me. It was very honest, emotional, and personal to me as anything I've ever written then or since. Nothing has changed regarding the way I feel regarding my past but about a month ago, I had a very personal encounter with God regarding the wearing of that particular ring. At that time, I was released from wearing it by a chain of bizarre events that were God ordained. I would love to tell the story because it was definitely a "in the presence of the Lord" experience, but because it would affect another person if I told the whole story, I feel it is best to keep that to myself (sorry, my whole life isn't an open book!). I will tell you that ring must have had strings attached to my heart because its removal was painful. The ring was beautiful but more than that...it held so much meaning to me regarding my covenant relationship and to be honest, I never had imagined a day that it would have ever been removed. Through that process, I saw that it is much easier to hold on to something that you know and understand, even if it is painful, than to let it go and step into a new dimension where you have no idea what is next. But, I've learned it is best to be obedient when the Lord instructs you so specifically.
After the removal of that ring, I just felt...naked to be quite honest. I never took it off in all those years, minus a few times it was at the jeweler having some maintenance. It was part of me in a strange way and I just felt the loss all over again after it was no longer there. Like...this is really happening. Another gut check, another blow, another dream dissolved into ashes.
So, during the past few weeks I felt led to purchase a new ring, but one that meant just as much to me as the one before and was a symbol of this stage of my life. I looked, I shopped, I pondered and then one day I was stuck in traffic after a doctor's appointment, and I looked over and saw a James Avery store. That's it! I pulled in and went inside and started shopping. And you guessed it...I found the perfect ring. It's a wide gold band inscribed in all caps...FAITH, HOPE, LOVE...which is written encompassing the whole ring so you really can only see one word at a time. No diamonds, no bling, plain, simple and perfect. They had to order my size so I had to wait a week...but I finally picked it up last week. I almost felt like performing a little ceremony when I put it on! To be honest, it was an emotional moment for me. To me, this ring symbolizes a new convenant and this time, it is to my Lord and Savior, dedicating the next part of my life to His service and for His glory. A simple reminder to not forget what He has brought me through, as well as where He's about to take me!
1 Corinthians 13:13 But now abideth faith, hope, love, these three; and the greatest of these is love.
When I glance at the ring throughout the day, it's often turned to a different word and it's a very cool reminder to me of what God is doing and wants to do in my life. At different times, the words mean different things. Sometimes, it is a reminder of the faith, the hope, the love that the Lord has instilled in me and shown me through this journey. Other times, it encourages me to look ahead for the new hope, the new faith, and the new love that the Lord is bringing into my life. And it's always a reminder that these three little words represent huge things for the Kingdom. Without these three things, we would be lost. But because of these three things, we can enjoy joyful abundance as the Lord so intended.
Faith. Hope. Love. 'Nuf said.
In Christ Alone,
Joy
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Monday, September 27, 2010
Hallelujah, the locusts are gone!
Yesterday, I was out walking my dog and enjoying the gorgeous fall day that God granted us Texans. Along my walk, I noticed there was an abundance of grasshoppers. Now, I live out in the country so I see a lot of these annoying little beasts but this was an absurd amount. They were splattered all over the road, but there were some survivors out there as well hopping about and on me and my dog in their annoying little ways. This sight brought to mind a book I read this summer (isn't the mind a funny thing?) named, After the Locusts, written by Jan Coleman. It was such a powerful book and was really a perspective changer for me, yet I realized yesterday I never wrote about it and I felt the pull to do so.
The book is centered on the following verses:
Joel 2:25-26
I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten--
the great locust and the young locust,
the other locusts and the locust swarm--
my great army that I sent among you.
You will have plenty to eat, until you are full,
and you will praise the name of the Lord your God,
who has worked wonders for you;
Never again will my people be shamed.
Until this book, I had never understood what these verses meant. Realistically, before my struggles in the past year, I don't think I could have grasped what these words were trying to say. But I have lived what Joel is talking about...a life that has been stripped bare of all the things I thought I knew, that I thought I could put my trust in and I thought were secure in my life and now, at 34 years of age, I've been left to start all over, yet again. But here's the flip side, I believe God allowed me to be stripped down in order to rebuild me again...exactly as He has always wanted to mold and shape me because this time around, He has my full, undivided attention. Yesterday, as I was recalling the book and pondering on it and getting attacked by the grasshoppers, I realized in the past, how afraid I was of the locusts in my life, how afraid I was of starting over and how I wasn't sure I could do it to be quite honest. I didn't know if I had the strength to stand up and go another round if you know what I mean...being knocked down over and over again is exhausting. However, the Lord spoke over me clear as day to get up, get moving and just hang on for one more day because He had good things in store for me. I couldn't see those hopes at the time, and it was almost laughable, but I had a mustard seed of faith that kept me focused on God and trusting in Him for my future. Now, on the other side of that journey, I'm beginning to reap the blessings that the Lord intended for me all along. He's replaced in me a new heart full of His love and compassion and He's giving me BIG dreams, audacious faith (a topic to be discussed later I promise), and a little glimpse of the path He's been getting me ready to walk down. To say it's exciting is an understatement! Basically, God knows I went through a hellacious last year. I mean, let's face it, He walked every step with me, He held every tear and He heard every cry of my heart. But now, He's starting to repay me for that lost year, and just like a plant can be stripped bare by a teem of locusts, that same plant can also bloom into a beautiful flower yet again. Let's just say I'm starting to experience the "spring" of my life...in October!
If you have had something devastating strip everything away in your life, such as a failed relationship, a death of a loved one, financial woes, cancer (is there a worst locust than that?), illness, loss of a job...basically any death of any dream...I encourage you to read this book. It will help you hang on to the promise of the blessings that are around the corner if you just keep a Kingdom focus and keep walking with your Savior. As I was so instructed during my trials, just hang on. Don't focus on your situation but look ahead and hold on to the fact that God will keep His promises to you and I assure you He will restore what you have lost if you just keeping walking with Him...plus more than you could ask or imagine! Don't trust my word though, dig into HIS WORD and you will see it as true!
The book is centered on the following verses:
Joel 2:25-26
I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten--
the great locust and the young locust,
the other locusts and the locust swarm--
my great army that I sent among you.
You will have plenty to eat, until you are full,
and you will praise the name of the Lord your God,
who has worked wonders for you;
Never again will my people be shamed.
Until this book, I had never understood what these verses meant. Realistically, before my struggles in the past year, I don't think I could have grasped what these words were trying to say. But I have lived what Joel is talking about...a life that has been stripped bare of all the things I thought I knew, that I thought I could put my trust in and I thought were secure in my life and now, at 34 years of age, I've been left to start all over, yet again. But here's the flip side, I believe God allowed me to be stripped down in order to rebuild me again...exactly as He has always wanted to mold and shape me because this time around, He has my full, undivided attention. Yesterday, as I was recalling the book and pondering on it and getting attacked by the grasshoppers, I realized in the past, how afraid I was of the locusts in my life, how afraid I was of starting over and how I wasn't sure I could do it to be quite honest. I didn't know if I had the strength to stand up and go another round if you know what I mean...being knocked down over and over again is exhausting. However, the Lord spoke over me clear as day to get up, get moving and just hang on for one more day because He had good things in store for me. I couldn't see those hopes at the time, and it was almost laughable, but I had a mustard seed of faith that kept me focused on God and trusting in Him for my future. Now, on the other side of that journey, I'm beginning to reap the blessings that the Lord intended for me all along. He's replaced in me a new heart full of His love and compassion and He's giving me BIG dreams, audacious faith (a topic to be discussed later I promise), and a little glimpse of the path He's been getting me ready to walk down. To say it's exciting is an understatement! Basically, God knows I went through a hellacious last year. I mean, let's face it, He walked every step with me, He held every tear and He heard every cry of my heart. But now, He's starting to repay me for that lost year, and just like a plant can be stripped bare by a teem of locusts, that same plant can also bloom into a beautiful flower yet again. Let's just say I'm starting to experience the "spring" of my life...in October!
If you have had something devastating strip everything away in your life, such as a failed relationship, a death of a loved one, financial woes, cancer (is there a worst locust than that?), illness, loss of a job...basically any death of any dream...I encourage you to read this book. It will help you hang on to the promise of the blessings that are around the corner if you just keep a Kingdom focus and keep walking with your Savior. As I was so instructed during my trials, just hang on. Don't focus on your situation but look ahead and hold on to the fact that God will keep His promises to you and I assure you He will restore what you have lost if you just keeping walking with Him...plus more than you could ask or imagine! Don't trust my word though, dig into HIS WORD and you will see it as true!On my walk back home yesterday, a breeze kicked up and there was a gentle wind that began to blow. You know what happened? All those locusts kept trying to hop at me, on me and around me, but every time they tried to land...that wind just sent them air borne away from me. They were literally flying several feet before landing in the opposite direction they had intended. I had to laugh at the illustration because I see in this season of my life, the Lord is shielding me and He's doing new things in me. He's keeping those locusts off of me and heading the other direction! Their time to wreak havoc in my life is over for now (thank you Lord!) and that gentle whisper of His voice in the wind is reassuring me that He's got a plan for my life and the "repayment" of my lost time. It may not be what I would have planned for my life but I know in the long run, it will be better!
Hallelujah the locusts are gone!
JOY
Monday, September 20, 2010
Assignment Solitude
A few months back, I read Brennan Mannings', Ragamuffin Gospel, for the first time. Wow...I was blown away after reading the book! He came and spoke years ago at our church and I have never forgotten that message. He's so real and a bit in your face when he speaks, and brutally honest to a fault, but I appreciate that in a person. He writes the same way and his book left an impression on me in so many ways (if you haven't read it, read it now!).
One of the things he talks about in his book is a time period where he basically went on a sabbatical and just was alone in nature for a period of days in solitude and absolute silence. He spent the time searching for God, listening to His voice and completely quieted his life. I may be the only one in the world that remembers this part of the book, but for me, that was radical and one of those things I thought, "that would be cool to do, but who has the time?"
Since I have just recently written a blog on quiet time and the importance of it, God thought to remind me of this yet again. But this time, I started thinking how I could take a similar journey in my life. And the more I thought on it, the more excited I became...to the point of getting online and looking for secluded cabins in nature where I could hike or sit and stare at God's creation and the wonder of His world. I haven't been this excited about something in awhile. I mean, I couldn't even sleep! I was like a kid on Christmas eve waiting for Christmas morning!!! (I know...I'm losing it and must get out more!)
I ended up finding the perfect place (which I will not tell you where because the point is SOLITUDE and I don't want to be found) and I started checking availability on my end and theirs and came up with a perfect weekend (again, it is a secret but a few months off). My mind was racing...no cell phones, no TV, no movies, no radio/music, no text messages, no interaction with a human of any kind, no talking for three days, no computers, no facebook, no blogs...nothing but me, God, and a cabin in seclusion. A fast of sorts if you want to look at it from that angle. I plan on doing a lot of writing, a lot of praying and a lot of sitting and quieting my mind and just....being still. I know this sounds like the worst idea in the world to some of you, and it would have been for me too a few years ago but now, I'm craving it. I've learned to embrace the silence of the day and actually ENJOY it and look forward to it.
It wasn't until two days later that I realized something. This perfect weekend that I picked out will be the one year anniversary of the day my husband packed his things, walked out of my life and said he wanted a divorce to my absolute shock. The day, one year ago, that my world shattered onto the ground into a million little pieces and I had no idea what was about to happen. The day, I went to my knees and was broken before God, as the one person I loved on this Earth more than anything was simply gone, in an instant, and my life was about to change forever.
To be honest, at first I thought, well no way can I do it THAT weekend. I need to surround myself with people, activities, fun, happy things...noise. But then, I started to realize that this was no coincidence. God directed me down this path, to this place, to that weekend for a reason. And the more I thought about it, the more I thought how better to spend that milestone day than with my best friend, my Lord and my Savior? I have no idea what He's going to reveal to me during that weekend but I know it will be a sweet time, it will fill my spirit, and it will probably help me look back and process some of the past year. I hope to look back on all I have learned thus far, where He's taken me and maybe even where He is about to lead me on my journey in the upcoming year.
So to those of you that think I cannot be quiet for three days, just wait and see! I'm sure when I'm back, there will be plenty of material for many blogs so you will get a little sneek peek into the events of that particular weekend. I guess you can say I'm taking my own advice and carving out my own solitude in order to let God do what He does best...love, mold and shape His children.
Let the countdown to solitude begin!
One of the things he talks about in his book is a time period where he basically went on a sabbatical and just was alone in nature for a period of days in solitude and absolute silence. He spent the time searching for God, listening to His voice and completely quieted his life. I may be the only one in the world that remembers this part of the book, but for me, that was radical and one of those things I thought, "that would be cool to do, but who has the time?"
Since I have just recently written a blog on quiet time and the importance of it, God thought to remind me of this yet again. But this time, I started thinking how I could take a similar journey in my life. And the more I thought on it, the more excited I became...to the point of getting online and looking for secluded cabins in nature where I could hike or sit and stare at God's creation and the wonder of His world. I haven't been this excited about something in awhile. I mean, I couldn't even sleep! I was like a kid on Christmas eve waiting for Christmas morning!!! (I know...I'm losing it and must get out more!)
I ended up finding the perfect place (which I will not tell you where because the point is SOLITUDE and I don't want to be found) and I started checking availability on my end and theirs and came up with a perfect weekend (again, it is a secret but a few months off). My mind was racing...no cell phones, no TV, no movies, no radio/music, no text messages, no interaction with a human of any kind, no talking for three days, no computers, no facebook, no blogs...nothing but me, God, and a cabin in seclusion. A fast of sorts if you want to look at it from that angle. I plan on doing a lot of writing, a lot of praying and a lot of sitting and quieting my mind and just....being still. I know this sounds like the worst idea in the world to some of you, and it would have been for me too a few years ago but now, I'm craving it. I've learned to embrace the silence of the day and actually ENJOY it and look forward to it.
It wasn't until two days later that I realized something. This perfect weekend that I picked out will be the one year anniversary of the day my husband packed his things, walked out of my life and said he wanted a divorce to my absolute shock. The day, one year ago, that my world shattered onto the ground into a million little pieces and I had no idea what was about to happen. The day, I went to my knees and was broken before God, as the one person I loved on this Earth more than anything was simply gone, in an instant, and my life was about to change forever.
To be honest, at first I thought, well no way can I do it THAT weekend. I need to surround myself with people, activities, fun, happy things...noise. But then, I started to realize that this was no coincidence. God directed me down this path, to this place, to that weekend for a reason. And the more I thought about it, the more I thought how better to spend that milestone day than with my best friend, my Lord and my Savior? I have no idea what He's going to reveal to me during that weekend but I know it will be a sweet time, it will fill my spirit, and it will probably help me look back and process some of the past year. I hope to look back on all I have learned thus far, where He's taken me and maybe even where He is about to lead me on my journey in the upcoming year.
So to those of you that think I cannot be quiet for three days, just wait and see! I'm sure when I'm back, there will be plenty of material for many blogs so you will get a little sneek peek into the events of that particular weekend. I guess you can say I'm taking my own advice and carving out my own solitude in order to let God do what He does best...love, mold and shape His children.
Let the countdown to solitude begin!
JOY
PS Since I talked recently about my quiet spot and the beauty of the morning, I wanted to include this picture. Taken from where I sit and do my quiet time and watch the sunrise most mornings...this is taken with a camera phone so it is much more beautiful in real life but I just had to share! Every day, it looks different, which is just so cool to see the wonders that God has created!
Friday, September 17, 2010
Heart Transplants Free of Charge!
This week, the topic of compassion has come up in my life over and over in various forms: discussions with friends and their situations, my Bible study/prayer time, a letter from a friend, and a television show to round it out! The topic has so bombarded my thoughts, I finally have said, "I must write about this!"
It is no secret that I've been through a divorce in the past year and anyone who has walked a mile in the shoes of divorce will tell you it is so easy to become hard hearted towards your spouse. The whole process just naturally drives you towards that end point whether you want that or not. I prayed hard against that, and even through some very hurtful things, I maintained a pretty soft heart towards my husband (I'm far from perfect and some things did get to me but I'm speaking over all). I refused to become bitter or harbor unforgiveness in my life then and now. I just don't operate that way and I refused to let the enemy destroy me in that way. I know that only occurred with God's help because it is not natural to love someone who is hurting you and who has walked away from the marriage. Our flesh wants to harden our hearts, put up walls, and scream "RETREAT" out of self protection mode. But, that's not God's plan or desire for His children. So, when people say to me in amazement "You're doing so well! You're so strong!", I'm very quick to point out that no, I'm actually very weak but my God is VERY strong and it's only by HIS grace that I am where I am today! With all of that being said, I'm now closing in on four months post final divorce. I have seen that the natural tendency as you heal and move forward in your life is to harden your heart towards your spouse over time. It happens without you realizing it or even wanting that because again, you are in survival mode. It becomes harder to pray for that person. You, honestly, wish you could just forget about the whole blasted thing. But, that's not God's heart for marriage or for relationships. When you take that covenant before God, you start the process of ONENESS...and a soul tie occurs between the two of you. A piece of paper from the State of Texas does not sever that soul tie! In my case, I had a 10 year relationship, moving towards oneness every day...so that does not go away easily. I know in time, the pain from the break of that union will be less but there will always be a piece of my husband with me. God never intended for us to divorce so that bond it not easily broken nor forgotten.
With that being said, in the last few weeks, I've realized that my heart has not been as soft towards him as I thought it was originally. I've heard two sermons from my pastor on wisdom in the past two weeks regarding what people go through that are lost and have turned from God and become hard hearted...and both messages have really touched me and stirred my heart with...you guessed it...compassion and empathy for my husband. I left the service this Sunday and just prayed, "What do you want me to do with THIS God?" Because, let's face it...that's frustrating and confusing when you are trying to heal a gaping hole in your heart. It really bothered me to be brutally honest. But, in that moment, you know what picture God gave me? A picture of Jesus and the cross...and I "got it". How do you think God feels when we turn away? When we harden our hearts towards Him? Does He harden His heart out of protection? No, in fact, He loves us all the more and we for sure don't deserve that. He loved us so much that He sent His only son to die for us, while we were still in the midst of our sin. He loves us even though we are so unlovable at times! Now if that's not compassion and love I don't know what is...doesn't mean He is accepting of what we are doing and approves of the sin, just means His love covers all sin. So, with that as my model, I became pretty humbled. It doesn't matter what the other person has or is doing...it's okay to have a soft heart towards them and show compassion because THAT is God's heart for us!
With that bouncing around in my head this week, I stumbled across these verses:
Romans 5:1-5
1Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we[a]have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, 2through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we[b] rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. 3Not only so, but we[c] also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.
Now any Christian going through a trial has read these verses a hundred times (I know I have) but I've always concentrated on the first half. This time, it was the second half that stirred in me as it says that God himself has poured out HIS love into our hearts! If that is what occurs when you submit to Him, how could your heart be hard towards anyone? And then to top it off, today, I was reading Ezekiel and again, these verses talk about the "heart transplant" that God wants to give us:
Ezekiel 36:25-28
25 I will sprinkle clean water on you, and you will be clean; I will cleanse you from all your impurities and from all your idols. 26 I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh. 27 And I will put my Spirit in you and move you to follow my decrees and be careful to keep my laws. 28 You will live in the land I gave your forefathers; you will be my people, and I will be your God.
Again, I've prayed the above verses over my husband many times and other prodigals...but this time, I was able to see the correlation from my perspective of having a new heart and a new spirit through this journey and what that has meant in my life. The devotional that went with these verses in my Bible had the following to say:
"Once you have a changed heart, you have a changed life. Your new heart is capable of perfect love. Now you love the unlovable, you are kind to the unkind, and you forgive the unforgiveable because your new heart is GOD'S HEART."
This concept is so un-natural for the world to accept! Anytime I have to tell the five second story of why I'm now divorced, people always look disgusted because hey, it's the same old story we have heard a million times from anyone who has been divorced. But, I generally follow it up with the fact that I honestly feel very sorry for my husband and the path he's going down and it makes me sad for him because I know it is not God's best for him and it's very hard to watch/hear about. The person always look at me with a little shock and a little bit of curiosity because I don't spew out bitterness and hatred towards him. I can see their wheels turning as in, "what's the catch?" There is no catch. It is how I feel because God has given me a heart transplant and the compassion I feel and show is GOD'S compassion and love for His children! By no means do I hit the mark all the time (far from perfect), but that's my model and my goal to have that kind of a heart for the people I do life with and for that heart transplant to be permanent.
Just think how radically different this world could be if we all had that kind of compassion! I know it's radical...but it's also Biblical. Just something to think about...
In Him,
JOY
It is no secret that I've been through a divorce in the past year and anyone who has walked a mile in the shoes of divorce will tell you it is so easy to become hard hearted towards your spouse. The whole process just naturally drives you towards that end point whether you want that or not. I prayed hard against that, and even through some very hurtful things, I maintained a pretty soft heart towards my husband (I'm far from perfect and some things did get to me but I'm speaking over all). I refused to become bitter or harbor unforgiveness in my life then and now. I just don't operate that way and I refused to let the enemy destroy me in that way. I know that only occurred with God's help because it is not natural to love someone who is hurting you and who has walked away from the marriage. Our flesh wants to harden our hearts, put up walls, and scream "RETREAT" out of self protection mode. But, that's not God's plan or desire for His children. So, when people say to me in amazement "You're doing so well! You're so strong!", I'm very quick to point out that no, I'm actually very weak but my God is VERY strong and it's only by HIS grace that I am where I am today! With all of that being said, I'm now closing in on four months post final divorce. I have seen that the natural tendency as you heal and move forward in your life is to harden your heart towards your spouse over time. It happens without you realizing it or even wanting that because again, you are in survival mode. It becomes harder to pray for that person. You, honestly, wish you could just forget about the whole blasted thing. But, that's not God's heart for marriage or for relationships. When you take that covenant before God, you start the process of ONENESS...and a soul tie occurs between the two of you. A piece of paper from the State of Texas does not sever that soul tie! In my case, I had a 10 year relationship, moving towards oneness every day...so that does not go away easily. I know in time, the pain from the break of that union will be less but there will always be a piece of my husband with me. God never intended for us to divorce so that bond it not easily broken nor forgotten.
With that being said, in the last few weeks, I've realized that my heart has not been as soft towards him as I thought it was originally. I've heard two sermons from my pastor on wisdom in the past two weeks regarding what people go through that are lost and have turned from God and become hard hearted...and both messages have really touched me and stirred my heart with...you guessed it...compassion and empathy for my husband. I left the service this Sunday and just prayed, "What do you want me to do with THIS God?" Because, let's face it...that's frustrating and confusing when you are trying to heal a gaping hole in your heart. It really bothered me to be brutally honest. But, in that moment, you know what picture God gave me? A picture of Jesus and the cross...and I "got it". How do you think God feels when we turn away? When we harden our hearts towards Him? Does He harden His heart out of protection? No, in fact, He loves us all the more and we for sure don't deserve that. He loved us so much that He sent His only son to die for us, while we were still in the midst of our sin. He loves us even though we are so unlovable at times! Now if that's not compassion and love I don't know what is...doesn't mean He is accepting of what we are doing and approves of the sin, just means His love covers all sin. So, with that as my model, I became pretty humbled. It doesn't matter what the other person has or is doing...it's okay to have a soft heart towards them and show compassion because THAT is God's heart for us!
With that bouncing around in my head this week, I stumbled across these verses:
Romans 5:1-5
1Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we[a]have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, 2through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we[b] rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. 3Not only so, but we[c] also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.
Now any Christian going through a trial has read these verses a hundred times (I know I have) but I've always concentrated on the first half. This time, it was the second half that stirred in me as it says that God himself has poured out HIS love into our hearts! If that is what occurs when you submit to Him, how could your heart be hard towards anyone? And then to top it off, today, I was reading Ezekiel and again, these verses talk about the "heart transplant" that God wants to give us:
Ezekiel 36:25-28
25 I will sprinkle clean water on you, and you will be clean; I will cleanse you from all your impurities and from all your idols. 26 I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh. 27 And I will put my Spirit in you and move you to follow my decrees and be careful to keep my laws. 28 You will live in the land I gave your forefathers; you will be my people, and I will be your God.
Again, I've prayed the above verses over my husband many times and other prodigals...but this time, I was able to see the correlation from my perspective of having a new heart and a new spirit through this journey and what that has meant in my life. The devotional that went with these verses in my Bible had the following to say:
"Once you have a changed heart, you have a changed life. Your new heart is capable of perfect love. Now you love the unlovable, you are kind to the unkind, and you forgive the unforgiveable because your new heart is GOD'S HEART."
This concept is so un-natural for the world to accept! Anytime I have to tell the five second story of why I'm now divorced, people always look disgusted because hey, it's the same old story we have heard a million times from anyone who has been divorced. But, I generally follow it up with the fact that I honestly feel very sorry for my husband and the path he's going down and it makes me sad for him because I know it is not God's best for him and it's very hard to watch/hear about. The person always look at me with a little shock and a little bit of curiosity because I don't spew out bitterness and hatred towards him. I can see their wheels turning as in, "what's the catch?" There is no catch. It is how I feel because God has given me a heart transplant and the compassion I feel and show is GOD'S compassion and love for His children! By no means do I hit the mark all the time (far from perfect), but that's my model and my goal to have that kind of a heart for the people I do life with and for that heart transplant to be permanent.
Just think how radically different this world could be if we all had that kind of compassion! I know it's radical...but it's also Biblical. Just something to think about...
In Him,
JOY
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
Better Get Your Popcorn Ready for THIS Event!
This blog is for all you ladies out there (do any guys even read this blog?!)...I want to personally invite each of you to a women's conference at my church in Denton, sponsored by Val's House Ministries. The date of the event is Saturday, October 16th, and it will be from 9am to 5pm at the Cross Timbers Denton Campus. It is guaranteed to be a spirit-filled day! The theme of this conference is "Favor Flavored" based on the following verse:
Psalm 30:5 For his anger lasts only a moment, but his favor lasts a lifetime;
weeping may remain for a night, but rejoicing comes in the morning.
For more info and to register, click on the following link: http://www.valshouse.org/Events.htm
If you are reading this blog, you most likely are aware of the trials I have faced in the past year. BUT, more importantly than that...you have had a front row seat to watch me grow spiritually and you have been on the ride with me as I have written about God's blessings and favor in my life on the other side of tragedy, loss, devastation, and pain. With that being said, I will let you in on a "secret"...I'm one of the speakers at this conference. If you have been drawn to my story in some way, then I encourage you to come and hear much more about what God has and is doing in my life. And, of course, I would love to meet you if I don't already know you! Regardless of if you can make the event or not, I would ask that you please pray for myself, the other speakers, and all the women attending the conference. The enemy will not want our messages to be heard because let's face it...where there are testimonies of God's awesome power, it means the enemy's power and grip will be loosened and we hope women will find freedom! So, you know he isn't going to be happy with that type of transformation!
Besides myself, there will be four other amazing women speaking and their stories regarding how God has changed their lives are just awesome as well. I am very humbled to be on a panel with such Godly women! When I was originally asked to speak, it was at a time where I felt like I had anything but God's favor and that I would be the last person on Earth women would want to listen to because my story wasn't wrapped up with a nice little bow and a happy ending by worldly standards...but God nudged me to say yes because He knew what was to come in the next months. I'm very excited to share what all He has done and is doing...there has just been way too much to share in a blog as I would have to write for days to share it all so you will get the behind the scenes version that day!
I do hope you will come and spend a day with women who just love the Lord and desire to be closer to Him every day. We all have God's favor in our lives, but I think sometimes, we just overlook it!
Looking forward to October 16th!
Joy
Psalm 30:5 For his anger lasts only a moment, but his favor lasts a lifetime;
weeping may remain for a night, but rejoicing comes in the morning.
For more info and to register, click on the following link: http://www.valshouse.org/Events.htm
If you are reading this blog, you most likely are aware of the trials I have faced in the past year. BUT, more importantly than that...you have had a front row seat to watch me grow spiritually and you have been on the ride with me as I have written about God's blessings and favor in my life on the other side of tragedy, loss, devastation, and pain. With that being said, I will let you in on a "secret"...I'm one of the speakers at this conference. If you have been drawn to my story in some way, then I encourage you to come and hear much more about what God has and is doing in my life. And, of course, I would love to meet you if I don't already know you! Regardless of if you can make the event or not, I would ask that you please pray for myself, the other speakers, and all the women attending the conference. The enemy will not want our messages to be heard because let's face it...where there are testimonies of God's awesome power, it means the enemy's power and grip will be loosened and we hope women will find freedom! So, you know he isn't going to be happy with that type of transformation!
Besides myself, there will be four other amazing women speaking and their stories regarding how God has changed their lives are just awesome as well. I am very humbled to be on a panel with such Godly women! When I was originally asked to speak, it was at a time where I felt like I had anything but God's favor and that I would be the last person on Earth women would want to listen to because my story wasn't wrapped up with a nice little bow and a happy ending by worldly standards...but God nudged me to say yes because He knew what was to come in the next months. I'm very excited to share what all He has done and is doing...there has just been way too much to share in a blog as I would have to write for days to share it all so you will get the behind the scenes version that day!
I do hope you will come and spend a day with women who just love the Lord and desire to be closer to Him every day. We all have God's favor in our lives, but I think sometimes, we just overlook it!
Looking forward to October 16th!
Joy
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Be Still...
A little over a week ago, I was in the Florida Keys soaking up the rays with a girl friend and enjoying a lot of R&R. Since my return back to the "real world", for some reason the two extremes of vacay and everyday life have been on my mind. For example, while in the Keys, I was able to rise leisurely when I felt like it, grab a coffee, sit on my balcony or by the pool and do my morning Bible study in the solitude and have lots of reflection time. Not once did I look at my watch and think, I need to be doing....fill in the blank. I could decide as the day progressed what I wanted to do, if anything, and there was nothing pressing, nothing I had to do. I could lay out my day the way I wanted and schedule as much quiet time or me time as I needed. Heaven!
We all know that in our every day lives, the above is impossible to do unless you are retired or unemployed with no kiddos! But the more I grow spiritually, the more I realize how important it is to carve out time to have quiet time in a quiet place while I am well rested and able to focus. For me, that's first thing in the morning. If you drive by my house between about 6:30 and 7:30 am most every day, you will see me in my PJs (hey I live pretty far off the road in the country so I can do this!), sitting on my front porch in my rocker with my coffee studying His Word and/or praying. I like this time of the day best because I'm fresh, I'm focused and for me, it starts my day off in a peaceful way. It also is such a glorious time of the day, and a beautiful time at my place surrounded with nature and the beauty of God's handiwork. It was a hard thing to discipline myself to be able to follow the command "Be still and know that I am God" because I'm such an active and busy person...but I've seen first hand that when I quiet my mind is when I hear from God very clearly and receive a much needed word from Him in times of distress or trials. Too often we don't hear from God because we are too busy to slow down and LISTEN.
True, it's not as great as the vacation quiet time but it is still just as precious. In my busy life, I've found that if I don't make time for this and treat it as a priority, then it gets lost in the hustle and bustle of the day. And there are some days that I miss the mark...I'm only human...but I feel the after shocks of not putting on my armor for the day and I don't like that. Why do we make time and schedule other important things (sports, work outs, meetings, etc), but we overlook this "appointment" or push it back so readily? These verses helped convict me all the more:
Mark 1:35
35Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place, where he prayed.
Luke 5:16
16But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed.
Matthew 14:12-14
13When Jesus heard what had happened, he withdrew by boat privately to a solitary place. Hearing of this, the crowds followed him on foot from the towns. 14When Jesus landed and saw a large crowd, he had compassion on them and healed their sick.
If Jesus, in all of His perfection, needed to pray and have quiet time...that means a sinner like myself needs it all the more! Who am I to think I have more important things in my day to do than Jesus did in His time period when He walked the Earth?
I've had friends say to me "I don't know how you can stand the loneliness of an empty house". But I don't look at it that way most of the time...I cherish my solitude and the time I spend in His presence and learning and I feel He is using this time period of my life to teach me, to mold me and shape me and prepare me for...something. So, I've learned to embrace it and not be afraid of solitude but use the time for spiritual development and see that for me, quiet equals peace.
Blessings,
JOY
We all know that in our every day lives, the above is impossible to do unless you are retired or unemployed with no kiddos! But the more I grow spiritually, the more I realize how important it is to carve out time to have quiet time in a quiet place while I am well rested and able to focus. For me, that's first thing in the morning. If you drive by my house between about 6:30 and 7:30 am most every day, you will see me in my PJs (hey I live pretty far off the road in the country so I can do this!), sitting on my front porch in my rocker with my coffee studying His Word and/or praying. I like this time of the day best because I'm fresh, I'm focused and for me, it starts my day off in a peaceful way. It also is such a glorious time of the day, and a beautiful time at my place surrounded with nature and the beauty of God's handiwork. It was a hard thing to discipline myself to be able to follow the command "Be still and know that I am God" because I'm such an active and busy person...but I've seen first hand that when I quiet my mind is when I hear from God very clearly and receive a much needed word from Him in times of distress or trials. Too often we don't hear from God because we are too busy to slow down and LISTEN.
True, it's not as great as the vacation quiet time but it is still just as precious. In my busy life, I've found that if I don't make time for this and treat it as a priority, then it gets lost in the hustle and bustle of the day. And there are some days that I miss the mark...I'm only human...but I feel the after shocks of not putting on my armor for the day and I don't like that. Why do we make time and schedule other important things (sports, work outs, meetings, etc), but we overlook this "appointment" or push it back so readily? These verses helped convict me all the more:
Mark 1:35
35Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place, where he prayed.
Luke 5:16
16But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed.
Matthew 14:12-14
13When Jesus heard what had happened, he withdrew by boat privately to a solitary place. Hearing of this, the crowds followed him on foot from the towns. 14When Jesus landed and saw a large crowd, he had compassion on them and healed their sick.
If Jesus, in all of His perfection, needed to pray and have quiet time...that means a sinner like myself needs it all the more! Who am I to think I have more important things in my day to do than Jesus did in His time period when He walked the Earth?
I've had friends say to me "I don't know how you can stand the loneliness of an empty house". But I don't look at it that way most of the time...I cherish my solitude and the time I spend in His presence and learning and I feel He is using this time period of my life to teach me, to mold me and shape me and prepare me for...something. So, I've learned to embrace it and not be afraid of solitude but use the time for spiritual development and see that for me, quiet equals peace.
Blessings,
JOY
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
Running Late and Running Into God
Last week, I woke up at the crack of dawn to the sound of a serious Texas storm going on outside of my window. Normally during the heat of the summer, I would have welcomed this sound and rolled over and hit the snooze button but not on this day. This day I need to be in Dallas to catch an early flight to the Florida Keys for five days of R&R! I hustled out of bed, wishing I had gotten up earlier, and quickly got ready and was out the door by 6:30am headed to Love Field. Well, as anyone local knows, Dallas traffic + storm + sideways rain + upcoming holiday weekend = MASSIVE traffic stand still! After breaking a few laws and avoiding a few near wrecks and just praying that God would part that traffic like the Red Sea or delay my flight, I arrive at the airport at 8:15am (normally takes me 45 minutes to get to this airport)...flight is at 8:30am and is ON TIME...GREAT! I take one look at the bag check in line as well as the security line, thinking, why don't I just have a carry on??? I realize at that moment there is no way I'm gonna get through both lines in ten minutes. So I trudge up to the counter to see about a later flight. Again, normally, no big deal but I'm meeting my girl friend in Houston and then we are flying together to Fort Lauderdale together so now I've REALLY done it...
Anyone who knows me will also vouch that I can have a short fuse and get frustrated quickly in situations like this. However, this day, I resigned myself to thinking positively and just said to myself, "Okay Joy, there is a reason, let's give this one to God and see what He does with it...just accept it, move on, and then let's look and see if we don't see the reason why this has happened". I refused to let my feathers get ruffled this one time!
I approach the counter, finally, and tell the way-too-friendly clerk my dilemma and he starts a typin'...for so long, I start getting nervous, especially after the disappearance of that big smile. But, I just keep saying, it will alllllll work out! Finally, he says AAHHH HAAA! And he locates a flight that is direct right to Ft. Lauderdale that leaves in an hour. Whew!
After I get through security, I go to the ladies room and I just pray while I'm in there for God to show me the reason behind my delay (I still don't tell my friend what is up yet---I'm afraid she will think it is due to a plane crash that I didn't get on that plane and I don't want to worry her). Just teach me something, anything, on this bad weather day Lord.
I walk out of the bathroom and take, literally about 10 steps down the busy hall way towards my gate when I hear my name hollered above the noise..."JOY!" I stop, turn in a circle, see nothing and realize I must be hallucinating as I still have not had my morning coffee and I keep walking. Again, I hear it and I say to myself, has to be for me, right? I repeat the same process again and see no one I know...and so I keep walking, feeling a little foolish. Then, the third time it happens I start to think I am slap crazy and someone needs to put me in a straight jacket..but this time I turn around and standing right out front of Chili's is someone I have not seen in nearly 10 years!!! One of my vet school classmates/friend from A&M! I was...shocked! He happened to see me somehow walking by as he was inside the restaurant. We caught up for about ten minutes (because now I had a lot of free time) as we had lost track of one another and I found out about his family, his career, etc...and then he asks the dreaded question, "So how many kids do you have now?" As if on cue, out of nowhere, you guessed it...I start to cry (at least it wasn't the ugly cry). Which makes me feel even more foolish as I'm in this big ole' public place with a bunch of strangers and someone I haven't seen in a long time...and I lose it. I give him the 10 second run down on my life in the past year and his face just falls. He gives me a big ole' hug and just says how sorry he is (we actually both got married after vet school on the same day so we've always had that connection with our anniversaries) and I know him and I know it is genuine. I dry up the tears as quick as they have appeared and we wrap up the conversation and say our good byes.
I walk away from Chili's towards my gate (and COFFEE!) and I just don't know whether I should be laughing or crying...but as always, I cry a little! I'm just so, so, so amazed what God taught me in that moment and I just feel totally surrounded by His presence. I really had a tough few weeks and for one, I think He just knew I needed a hug from an old friend! But more than that, He used that moment to show me that He is most certainly always in control every second of every day. And He's not afraid to use a rainstorm or a traffic jam to flex His muscles and show me that. I may not know where I'm going, but He does at every second of every day! So, instead of looking at my missed flight as a negative...I looked at it as a positive and that change in attitude and focus made all the difference in my day.
And you wanna hear the cool part? I get to my gate and I ask, by the way, what time will my flight land in Ft. Lauderdale, as I need to tell my friend I will be late. The actual pilot happens to be standing there nearby and pulls out his schedule and tells me the actual time, that we were a little behind schedule but he would make it up in the air to get me to my friend right on time. Thank you sir! I ended up landing and meeting up with her in Florida and we arrive at nearly the same time! My missed flight didn't end up delaying me in the long run at all...I still arrived, right on time, despite some snafus in my morning.
Doesn't that make you think? Life on Earth often takes us another path, one that we might not have planned, but the end result is we end up right where God wants us and His ways are right on time, every time. Maybe we should focus more of what we have and what He's trying to show us in the moment instead of what we don't have and what we think we are missing out on. It's what I call a Holy Attitude Adjustment!
Slidin' In...Right on Time!
JOY
Anyone who knows me will also vouch that I can have a short fuse and get frustrated quickly in situations like this. However, this day, I resigned myself to thinking positively and just said to myself, "Okay Joy, there is a reason, let's give this one to God and see what He does with it...just accept it, move on, and then let's look and see if we don't see the reason why this has happened". I refused to let my feathers get ruffled this one time!
I approach the counter, finally, and tell the way-too-friendly clerk my dilemma and he starts a typin'...for so long, I start getting nervous, especially after the disappearance of that big smile. But, I just keep saying, it will alllllll work out! Finally, he says AAHHH HAAA! And he locates a flight that is direct right to Ft. Lauderdale that leaves in an hour. Whew!
After I get through security, I go to the ladies room and I just pray while I'm in there for God to show me the reason behind my delay (I still don't tell my friend what is up yet---I'm afraid she will think it is due to a plane crash that I didn't get on that plane and I don't want to worry her). Just teach me something, anything, on this bad weather day Lord.
I walk out of the bathroom and take, literally about 10 steps down the busy hall way towards my gate when I hear my name hollered above the noise..."JOY!" I stop, turn in a circle, see nothing and realize I must be hallucinating as I still have not had my morning coffee and I keep walking. Again, I hear it and I say to myself, has to be for me, right? I repeat the same process again and see no one I know...and so I keep walking, feeling a little foolish. Then, the third time it happens I start to think I am slap crazy and someone needs to put me in a straight jacket..but this time I turn around and standing right out front of Chili's is someone I have not seen in nearly 10 years!!! One of my vet school classmates/friend from A&M! I was...shocked! He happened to see me somehow walking by as he was inside the restaurant. We caught up for about ten minutes (because now I had a lot of free time) as we had lost track of one another and I found out about his family, his career, etc...and then he asks the dreaded question, "So how many kids do you have now?" As if on cue, out of nowhere, you guessed it...I start to cry (at least it wasn't the ugly cry). Which makes me feel even more foolish as I'm in this big ole' public place with a bunch of strangers and someone I haven't seen in a long time...and I lose it. I give him the 10 second run down on my life in the past year and his face just falls. He gives me a big ole' hug and just says how sorry he is (we actually both got married after vet school on the same day so we've always had that connection with our anniversaries) and I know him and I know it is genuine. I dry up the tears as quick as they have appeared and we wrap up the conversation and say our good byes.
I walk away from Chili's towards my gate (and COFFEE!) and I just don't know whether I should be laughing or crying...but as always, I cry a little! I'm just so, so, so amazed what God taught me in that moment and I just feel totally surrounded by His presence. I really had a tough few weeks and for one, I think He just knew I needed a hug from an old friend! But more than that, He used that moment to show me that He is most certainly always in control every second of every day. And He's not afraid to use a rainstorm or a traffic jam to flex His muscles and show me that. I may not know where I'm going, but He does at every second of every day! So, instead of looking at my missed flight as a negative...I looked at it as a positive and that change in attitude and focus made all the difference in my day.
And you wanna hear the cool part? I get to my gate and I ask, by the way, what time will my flight land in Ft. Lauderdale, as I need to tell my friend I will be late. The actual pilot happens to be standing there nearby and pulls out his schedule and tells me the actual time, that we were a little behind schedule but he would make it up in the air to get me to my friend right on time. Thank you sir! I ended up landing and meeting up with her in Florida and we arrive at nearly the same time! My missed flight didn't end up delaying me in the long run at all...I still arrived, right on time, despite some snafus in my morning.
Doesn't that make you think? Life on Earth often takes us another path, one that we might not have planned, but the end result is we end up right where God wants us and His ways are right on time, every time. Maybe we should focus more of what we have and what He's trying to show us in the moment instead of what we don't have and what we think we are missing out on. It's what I call a Holy Attitude Adjustment!
Slidin' In...Right on Time!
JOY
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