A Lesson Learned Ten Years in the Making

The saying "God works in mysterious ways" is an understatement if you ask me!  Sometimes, God reveals things to me or does something in my life where everything just clicks and I sit back and say in amazement..."WHOA"!  A "whoa" moment happened to me this weekend and I just want to share a bit of it with you.  (As a disclaimer, since this involves my sister as well...I assure you I have received her permission to share the following!)

After I spoke at the conference Saturday, I hot-footed it to Tyler to go to a dear friend's wedding (we call her our little sis since she doesn't have any siblings!) with my family.  My sister and her husband were in for the event, so it was even more special to get to be with the whole family in one weekend, as that NEVER happens.  So, after all the wedding festivities and the hustle and bustle of the day, we were driving home to my mom's house late that night when they started asking me about my speaking engagement and how it went, etc.  My brother-in-law, Shannon, wanted me to give them a quick synopsis of what I talked about and the response.  After I gave them the run down, he was just in awe because it turns out that on the prior Monday, my sister had spoken at a Young Life meeting all about her struggles with my parents' divorce fifteen years ago.  The outline of our talks were very similar, as well as the feedback we got from two very different audiences afterwards...I had no idea what she was going to talk about or that she was speaking that week, so it was a suprise to me, too.  Shannon kept saying how amazed he was that we both were using our pain in a positive way to show what God can do with your life when you give Him control. 

Now here is where it gets interesting so hang with me...I thought a bit on that and how it was interesting that within a five day period, we both were being very public and open with our lives, and since I don't believe in coincidences, I just thought...hmmm, God's up to something!  But then, I just left it alone to be honest.  Yesterday morning in my prayer time, however, God brought that back up to me and just revealed some things to me that I would like to share.  First off, when our parents divorced, I was in college at A&M, but Holly was a senior in high school.  She had to live and breathe the divorce, where I was able to escape it in a way.  It was very traumatic on both of us, but for her, it was much worse at that time.  She became very broken before God, and turned to Him for support and encouragement.  I had the opposite response...I ran from Him and everything I had once believed.  It wasn't really a conscious decision, looking back, but more of a "I'm just numb and don't want to think about it" type thing (what I've learned the enemy does best).  I quit attending church, I partied...a LOT, I really quit going home and I avoided family at all costs.  I didn't want to hear about the situation at all and for sure I didn't want to have to live it...I just consumed myself with my new life, and in my line of study, that was easy to do.  I'm not saying I was a horrible person...but I wasn't very Godly either.  I basically did what many do...I couldn't stand the pain so I found ways to self-medicate out of it.  This went on, sadly, for years.  Until I met my husband...and things just started looking different.  We started talking, for hours upon hours, about how we had not been walking with God and we started becoming convicted about it and began to do something about it, as we both had that heart for God originally.  Basically, God was softening our hearts and leading us back to Him.  We began attending church and we were very blessed to find a great church in our area that we became very involved with and grew by leaps and bounds spiritually.  It was as if life was lining up for us and we "got our acts together" so-to-speak.

So, fast forward 10 years...and here I am...now myself on the side of divorce, where I never, ever, EVER wanted to be (can I throw another NEVER, EVER in for good measure?)!  I was so gun shy of marriage after my parents' divorce and that's one reason I didn't marry until I was 26 years old (and it is not that I didn't have offers!) and I was just so sure that he was "THE ONE".  Brad knew I was so petrified of divorce due to my parents' marriage crumbling after 30 years (as we had talked about it often) and I pretty much hog-tied him and sat on him and made him swear to me that we would never divorce! He promised and reassured me that if we ever had problems, we would do whatever it took to fix them and divorce was just never an option for either one of us.  I liked that answer.  Well...we all know how that ended up!  And I say this not to point a finger at him...quite the opposite...I'm pointing the finger at myself because I had such a wrong perspective on marriage!  He and I could never keep a marriage going without putting God first, no matter what we promised to each other!  Satan was bound to come after one of us and try to wiggle in between us, especially when we started sticking our necks out for the Kingdom...and that's exactly what happened.  We were so unprepared for that type of attack and I think, no I KNOW, that not enough people talk to young marrieds about putting their spiritual armor on and how to stand up to the attacks that WILL come your way (not exactly what you want to hear when you are in newlywed bliss)!  I say all of this to make a point (I promise it's coming)...God showed me very specifically Monday that I didn't respond in a Godly manner the first time around after my parents' divorce, so guess what?  I got a second chance at it...without even realizing it, and this time I was more spiritually mature and I chose the right path...the one to walk in the spirit and not the world/flesh as I had done before.  I REFUSED to self medicate out of the pain...I decided to walk in it, to embrace it and to LEARN THE LESSONS God brought my way.  Again, I'm just now seeing the correlation between the two events so it is not like I originally saw this as a second chance!

Today, I linked the two events together...it was like a piece of a puzzle fitting perfectly.  I'm not saying God allowed my divorce to happen as a punishment because I was a "bad girl" before.  I don't see Him as vengeful towards me, but instead loving and wanting to discipline me and give me a second chance to get it right!  I believe there are many reasons that my divorce was allowed, and some are due to what is happening on the other side of the mountain.  But, I do see this as just one of the reasons and it all makes perfect sense to me in this moment.

In every situation, and I do mean EVERY situation, there is a lesson to be learned.  I don't think we realize that (I know I didn't)...and this is why people keep making the same mistakes over and over again.  And of course, God keeps giving us more chances to get it right.  My parents' divorce wasn't my fault by any means, but how I responded to it most certainly was!  Our God is just so loving and He gives us ample chances to turn to Him and live out the best life He has planned for us.  So, today, I'm thanking Him for showing me how He has redeemed yet more pain from my past and used it for His glory!

I may be a slow learner...but when I get it...I GET IT!!!

JOY