- Family: Those closest to you are the easiest to take for granted it seems, but I'm grateful for a family that rallied around me, supported me, loved on me and accepted me even when I was at my lowest and just couldn't see the forrest for the trees. A family who never said I was crazy for believing in a miracle or never disputed the words God spoke to me, even if it did seem pretty nuts at times. The same family who believed in me and believed in God and His plan for my life...they let me fall and get scraped up and learn the lessons I needed to learn but did not try to enable me, coddle me, or rescue me...but at the same time they were there, rock solid, at all times and I knew that. To the father who drove nearly 150 miles, one way, taking off of work to sit with me in an attorney's office and try to help her make heads or tails of my emotional crisis and breakdown and collapse of my life and the fear and shock I was dealing with in a 1 1/2 hour meeting and then turned around and drove straight home; To the mother who drove 300+ miles at 5am from my sister's house to be with me and help me walk through the shock of a spouse walking out suddenly and who spent a few holidays with me, alone; To the sister who literally talked me off the cliff more than once when I just wanted to quit, give up, throw in the towel because the pain was just unbearable and who was my trusted confidant and sounding board at so many turns in the road; To the brother-in-law who gave me sound, business and financial advice and helped me negotiate in some tricky waters and was the voice of reason and practicality I needed to hear many times (and gave me clothing advice so I didn't look like a grandma! LOL)...to these people a thank you isn't enough. I could write forever on things they did, breaking their backs for me, but instead I will just say...I love you.
- Friends: I've written on this subject many times but let me just say, you separate the sheep from the goats as far as friends when you go through any type of struggle. What doesn't break you makes you stronger and that goes for friendships as well. I won't mention names but you know who you are...to those who took late night calls and went without sleep just to be a lifeline to me; to those who slapped on gloves and went to work CSI fashion in my home late at night (now that's a real friend let me just say); to those who took me out or had me over to their house and made me eat or bought me meals when I was too depressed to pick up a fork; to those who saved me a seat in church and put the word out so I wouldn't feel embarrassed being alone; to those who gave up their own precious family time to be with me; to those who prayed, who believed, who loved on me and encouraged me; to those who helped me when I was at different cross roads and who helped me walk in the spirit and not the flesh; to those who pulled me aside and constantly reaffirmed that our God is bigger than any struggle/pain/thorn in the side; to those who wrote my cards, emails and shared their story of heart ache to joy; to those who slept on my couch so I wouldn't have to be alone; to those who celebrated every victory, no matter how small; to those who just came by to give me a hug...to all you I say thank you and my life is richer and fuller because of each of you. When you walk through fire with someone, a bond is formed that is not easily broken! I cherish each one of you and I thank you for your prayers, for your encouragement and for accepting me just where I'm at at all times. Thank you.
- Church Family: I've heard some nightmare stories from women and men that have walked through the pains of a divorce, which is horrible enough, and then to find out that people in their own church family scorned them or turned up their noses at them. How horrible, how devastating...and how un-Christ like. I have to say that not ONE person at my church ever made me feel anything but loved and accepted, even when I was feeling pretty unlovable. If they felt otherwise, I sure didn't hear it or pick up on it. I'm so totally blessed to be a part of a church family that accepted me, wrapped their arms around me and spoke powerful words over me that God was most certainly in control of my life and He would use this pain for His glory one day. They believed not just in me, but the power of our Heavenly Father and His providence and His plan for each of our lives. They would not accept defeat, nor allow me to do so, and they just simply believed. I can't tell you how huge that is to have someone stand in agreement with you! And not only did they believe in me and pray for me...they prayed for Brad and they still do to this day, even though they have had no contact with him for over a year. I hope he realizes one day the love that his church showed to him, even when he didn't want it nor ask for, and I hope one day those prayers are integral in bringing him back to a relationship with his Father.
- Krum Vet Peeps: I just want to say that if our government needs any national secrets kept, my employees are up for the job because they are like Fort Knox...ain't no info coming out of their mouths! I look back and am just amazed at how they rallied behind me, not knowing one detail, but supported me and did not gossip or speculate. Just kept their heads down, and worked unbelievably hard and took as much pressure off me as they possibly could. I am blessed to have each of them in my life. I know there were days that I could NOT have been much fun to work with (heck I didn't even want to be with me!), but they took it in stride and protected me from the outside world. They have no idea that some days, that all that kept me going was getting out of bed and putting one foot in front of another because I couldn't let them or my clients down. Thank you guys for your loyalty and hard work and dedication. You make my job that much better!
- Krum Vet Clients: I tell you, I have the best clients in the world. Many had no clue what I was going through, just knew I was a bit "off" and not my bubbly self. They didn't push, they didn't pry, but they were there and supportive and didn't leave in droves to go to another vet! They were and are loyal and again, gave me something to focus on each day. They were okay if I wasn't up to being chatty and they didn't get a chip on their shoulder. If anything, they became more fierce in their loyalty to me! It's not something I felt comfortable discussing, and I try to keep my private life out of my work anyways...but we are in a small town. Word gets around (and some of what I heard was REALLY juicy but not true!) whether you want it to or not. Thanks for respecting my privacy and for continuing to stay devoted to my vision here at KVH.
- My neighbors: Small town people are just the best, can I get a witness?! To the neighbors who came over and did manual labor at my place, mowed my pastures, came out in the freezing temperatures to help me when my pipes busted and I had no water, had me over for dinner and prayer and laughter, and those who just kept a watchful eye on things when I couldn't be home...I really appreciate your support and help. Being a single woman in the country can be tough, especially when it's the one year we get snowed in not once but TWICE! But, my place looks better than ever and as they say...it takes a village!
- My life: I don't know how to better say it but I just am so thankful for my life and right where I'm at this very second. I love my life plain and simple. I love having horses to ride and time to get away with my thoughts; I love the beautiful sunrises that I get to see every day off my back porch that I somehow missed before; I love my pets that give me constant entertainment (and some days frustration but not too many days!); I love the stillness and quietness of where I live; I love my home that I've made into my very own; I love the fact that I've gotten back to my roots and rediscovered who I truly am, what I truly like to do, and can just be me again; I love to sit outside and just look at the open sky and reflect on what God is doing...I just love where I'm at mentally, physically and spiritually. I don't know how else to say it...but life is good! People often say "we just want you to be happy"...well happiness doesn't come from me or from you...it comes from above and I'm glad to say I AM HAPPY, but only because of HIM!
- My Heavenly Father: I saved the best for last...I'm just so thankful for a God that has loved me my whole life, who has waited patiently for me to come to Him with a fully submitted and devoted heart and spirit, and who has held my hand and even carried me every step of this journey. I am so unworthy, I truly am. I will never be able to 100% grasp the depth of His love for me, but I have just learned to accept it, embrace it and cherish it. I learned He is all I really ever needed...and He had been there the whole time! He has stretched me, changed me, refined me, sifted me and grown me in the past year and let me just say, it hurt...alot...but it has all been worth it. I don't understand it all but I can already see His plan unfolding, just a tiny glimmer of it, and it's just so cool. I'm so blessed to have a relationship with Him and I honestly don't know what I would have done without Him being the guiding force in my life. The best thing I ever did was get on my knees so totally broken and give in to His plan for my life. To let go, submit, give Him control and just admit not only do I not have it all figured out...I've made a complete mess of things and I give up trying to do it on my own...that journey has been so rewarding. Thank you Lord for using me and showing me YOU have a plan...it's all for YOUR GLORY!
A heart full of thanks,
JOY
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