What A Difference A Year Makes!!!

It's hard to believe that a short year ago, on this day at this exact hour, I was sitting at this same desk in the same chair and I was hanging up the same phone after my paralegal confirmed that yes, my divorce had been finalized in the State of Texas.  I remember shedding only a few tears that day, and just having a strange sense of peace wash over me, as in...it is finished.  Gone was the fear that I had before and now present was a sense of  "greater things are yet to come".  I cannot describe the moment adequately, but I felt God was going to do something in my life out of that pain.  I mean, let's face it, He had already begun a huge work in me during that time period...but I just knew it wasn't over yet!  At that time, I just couldn't fathom what that was going to look like...but I trusted Him enough to know that He always keeps His promises and He had some pretty big plans for me.

Fast forward a year to today...and the joy God has brought to me has been nothing short of amazing.  I often have to say "did that really all happen?"  Yep, it sure did.  But, it truly is a distant memory just one short year later.  God has healed me completely to the point that you can't even see a scar where that hurt and heart break was in my life.  I used to always wonder if there would be a piece of me that would just stay broken, wouldn't heal, and always feel the pain of that past mistake. If I'm being truthful, I thought I would always be just a tiny bit damaged.  Nope.  Not in the least.  And that surprises even me on some days.  What God has done is to wipe away all of that pain and disappointment, frustration and hurt from my life because He loves me THAT much.  He's not made me wallow in my failure, but quite the opposite...He has rewarded my faithfulness and He's embraced me and showed me He was in control the entire time.
When my trials began, my pastor spoke some words of truth to me that I have never forgotten.  He said, "Out of this brokeness, God is going to do amazing things and one day, maybe five years from now, you are going to look back and be able to see His hand on your life guiding you every step of the way".  I clung to that and I hoped for that but in the midst of the pain, it was really hard to comprehend.  Now, on the other side of the fire, it's much easier to see a chain of events that have unfolded in my life and continue to unfold and to know, without a shadow of a doubt, that God has pre-ordained it all.  There is no other explanation possible!  About a year ago, my sister spoke the same type of truth over me, basically saying that I needed to hold on because I had no way of knowing what the future had in store for me, but it could and would be better than before.  I wanted to say HOGWASH at the time, but now, I see she was more than right (she's already inserted her I TOLD YOU SO's don't you worry!).  One year later, not only am I happy again, but I'm HAPPIER than I ever have been in my life.  I'm just full of joy for what the Lord has done in my life!  It's the type of happiness that can only come from Him.  He's restored all I lost, there's no doubt about that...but He's brought me MORE.  It boggles my mind somedays, and I had a season of my life where I just didn't feel worthy of all the joy I was experiencing...but He got me over that, too!  I've never felt such peace in my life.  It's the kind of peace that just washes over you and keeps you centered.  And that's an amazing feeling. 

At this point, the rest of my journey is left unwritten...but I know God sees the entire picture and He has a perfect plan and perfect timing.  I trust in Him for the outcome in the next year and there forward.  I'm still learning, I'm still growing, I'm still being transformed and that will not ever change.  I see my trials and the last year as a gift from God, a vehicle of sorts to get me to God's best for my life, which is what He wanted all along.  I realize that the entire time I was praying for one person, God was answering my prayers in a completely different way as only He can do.  I could only see what was right in front of me...but God thought and wanted bigger for me, His best.  Prayers that I thought went unanswered were actually answered in a different, much, MUCH better way.  I see that I could have never prayed for where I'm at right now in life because I honestly did not know it existed.  How do you pray for the unimaginable?!  But, in God's wondrous power, He truly has delivered to me MORE than I could have ever asked for or imagined.  How sweet it is...

I can only sum it up in one way...

Blessed!

JOY

When the Storms Rage In This Life

Last night, in North Texas and Southern Oklahoma, we had wicked storms in this area.  The skies were black, the wind was fierce, reaching up to 70 mph at times, tornadoes were spotted all around with many touching down, thunderstorms and lightning lit up the sky, and there was up to softball-sized hail in some areas.  Many people lost homes and possessions due to the severity of destruction when these storms thundered through their area.  I was blessed to have it go within five miles of me, but not affect my home at all.  It was a scary night but it could have been so much worse!  What struck me this morning, when I sat on my back porch to do my quiet time, was that the sun was shining so bright, there was not a cloud in the sky, the birds were chirping and it was just a gorgeous, Texas day.  No inkling at all of the storms that had ripped through the area just twelve short hours before.

Isn't that how life is in general?  We all will go through storms in life and trials of various sorts...some people are hit worse than others, and we often never know the whys of that, nor do we understand it.  But then, we reach the other side of that storm and life is just so sweet as God has wiped the slate clean.  At that point, it may even be hard to visualize or remember how bad that storm truly was because God just brings such beauty, growth and new life out of it all.  It's times like these that remind me of Psalm 30:5, "For his anger lasts only a moment, but his favor lasts a lifetime! Weeping may last through the night, but joy comes with the morning."  God has such infinite grace and mercy for us and only He can create beauty out of the ashes and rubble!  It never ceases to amaze me how He can bring a new day forth so rapidly in someone's life and I just think it's a gentle, physical reminder when a new day dawns every morning of how God is in control of not just the heavens and the Earth, but each detail of our daily lives.  What an awesome God we serve!  That brings to mind one of my favorite verses right now:

 Zephaniah 3:17-20

Do not fear, Zion;

do not let your hands hang limp.

The LORD your God is with you,

the Mighty Warrior who saves.

He will take great delight in you;

in his love he will no longer rebuke you,

but will rejoice over you with singing.

 I will remove from you

all who mourn over the loss of your appointed festivals,

which is a burden and reproach for you.

At that time I will deal

with all who oppressed you.

I will rescue the lame;

I will gather the exiles.

I will give them praise and honor

in every land where they have suffered shame.

At that time I will gather you;

at that time I will bring you home.

I will give you honor and praise

among all the peoples of the earth

when I restore your fortunes

before your very eyes,

says the LORD.

To me, these verses speak clearly about the destruction we face in life...whether that be physical, emotional or spiritual storms and what is going on behind the scenes while those storms are raging and what God can and will produce after it all has blown away.  The picture of the Lord rejoicing over me, even while I sleep, just brings me such peace!  I think about my friends who just lost material possessions but I have the comfort knowing that God will restore it because they love Him and they are faithful to Him.  We so often get tied up at looking at how big and bad the storm is because let's face it, it IS distracting, that we forget to concentrate on the end result and God's promises of the joy that WILL come in the morning!

Jared Anderson has a song named "AMAZED" that I just love right now and I could just listen to it a million times.  It goes along with the verses above in my mind...God delighting over us, rejoicing over us, dancing over us while we are not even aware of it.  Storms swirl around us and He is THERE in the storms, as well as the seasons of valleys and mountaintop experiences.  It is amazing His love for us...we cannot begin to fathom the depth, the width and greatness of that love...it's like nothing we can ever have, even for the ones in our lives we love the very most. 

So, when the storms rage and the thunder strikes and the destruction comes in this life, remember to cling to the promises that the Lord has given you and claim the victory only He can bring about.  He is there and He will bring forth the sunshine in your life.  Sometimes it may take awhile but rest assured it will come to those that wait patiently and put their trust in the Lord.

JOY





Happy One Year Anniversary to My Blog!

It's actually been a little over a year as my first blog attempt was mid April of 2010, but I wanted to take a moment to celebrate the milestone of one year of blogging.  It all started out as a way to keep up with friends, instead of sending a jillion emails, as well as to keep people updated when I traveled on a veterinary mission trip to Haiti last year.  Since then, it has turned into a specific way God has used my story (which is really HIS story) and my gift of writing to open doors for a ministry of sorts.  Who would have thought that?  Certainly not me when I started it!

For curious minds, did you know that...

• In a year's time, this blog has been viewed 4000+ times!  The first time I found the "stats button" was about 4 months into the writing of the blog.  I didn't even know you could track hits, and I had ZERO idea that anyone, outside of my family, were reading what I wrote.  When I clicked and found I had over a 1000 hits, I was in shock! 
• People read this blog from twelve different countries.  Of course Americans are the top readers, but #2 and #3 are Russia and Canada...of those outside of the USA, I would love to know how you found me!
• Even though I'm the one posting, often times I end up being blessed by what people write me privately.  It has been a sense of encouragement and direction over a year's time and it has been such a blessing to me!
• I've actually become friends with some of my followers that I did not even know until someone directed them to my blog.
• I often wake up in the middle of the night with inspiration about what God lays on my heart to write about on this forum.  Anything in my life that happens, good or bad, now leads to the thought "that would make a good blog".  Honestly, it is very cathartic for me to write as I process things I'm going through so when I write so it's very healing for me.
• I generally never go back and read any posts I've written in the past. 

God never ceases to amaze me on how He can use non-conventional ways to touch other's lives.  For those of you that have shared your stories and opened your hearts to me over the past year, thank you.  You will never know what they have meant to me!  And for those that faithfully read and forward on to others, THANK YOU! 

As they say, the best is yet to come!

Blessings!

JOY

Divorced and Dating, Part Three

It's been a week since I've blogged but I wanted to be sure and not leave anyone hanging on this topic!  I promised three parts, so three parts I will deliver!  Thank you for all the positive feedback on this subject matter...it really has warmed my heart to get messages from many of you in all walks of life...single, divorced, dating, young and old (like me!).  The fact that Part 1 and Part 2 are in my top 5 blogs viewed of all time speaks volumes to me.  I'm glad I got out of my comfort zone and I wrote them now!  So, bottom line...thank you!

One of the things that God has revealed to me this time around dating deals with control.  In the past, I see that in any type of relationship, particularly a dating relationship, I kept all the control and I pushed my own agenda forward in pretty much every situation.  I ignored every red flag and burning bush the Lord might have thrown my way; I ignored friends and family who loved me and tried to speak words of caution into my life; and I did not seek God's will for my life or the relationship.  Looking back, I see God put a lot of checks into my Spirit...I just flat did not listen.  Like an obstinate child, I really, truly believed I knew best.  How prideful and how stubborn was THAT?!

If you are going to start a dating relationship and keep God first, you need to be really seeking God's will every second of the day and give HIM the control!  I have specifically asked God to close certain doors (He hasn't) and open others (He has) and make the paths straight and clear even for a slow learner such as me; I've asked friends that I walk with in accountability to pray for the situation AND to speak words of truth and caution into my life when need be (they do, they have and I have listened!); and I've asked the Holy Spirit to guide me and keep me very sensitive to any checks in my Spirit along the way.  Another very important question to ask:  is the person you are dating doing the same?!  Because if they are not...that's a HUGE red flag in itself!!!  Dating is a test, plain and simple but it's not a requirement.  You don't HAVE to date anyone!  Question yourself and be real with the answers:  Do you like what you see in that person at all stages?  How are they when things don't go their way?  Does their walk line up with their talk or is it lacking?  And bottom line...is the Lord giving you peace about it all?  If He's not, better think twice.  Be alert, be self-controlled and be cautious who you give your heart away to and let the Lord be your guide at all times! 

I talked about this in Part 2 but I think being friends first and foremost is so very important!  Too often we rush into a relationship and get all "serious" without really getting to know the person on a deeper level.  For me this time around, a deepened friendship developed over nearly a six month period until we both could honestly say we were each other's best friends.  It was like the Lord was allowing a foundation to be built one brick at a time in the proper order and He kept things from getting out of order.  It was slow, but steady progress and I wouldn't change a thing because now, as it has deepened into a dating relationship, I know this person inside and out from MONTHS of talking and sharing and I have no doubts about who he is and where he stands with God.  God knows just what we need and how we need it and I believe being friends and not skipping over that step is imperative.  That's how trust is built, but too often we speed by it in pushing our own agenda.  AND if you start slow and build a friendship first, you may just be able to see that person isn't the "one for you" early on and save yourself some heart ache down the road!  Once again, allowing God to control each step, is essential.  He's sees the bigger picture that is just not visible to us quite yet!

In ending this series, let me just say that when you keep God central in your life in every way, including dating, the results are nothing short of amazing.  I have NEVER dated this way in the past and I'm constantly blown away by what God is doing and how awesome things can be already at this stage.  I had it so wrong in the past and honestly, was just short-changing myself all along.  What God wants for us is so much better than what our tiny little brains can envision!!!  I've gotten a glimpse into what can happen when you empty YOUR hands of control and put it all in GOD'S hands...and it is incredible that God truly can and will do more than you ask or imagine.  Take it from me, it is well worth the wait to do it the right way, God's way...He will reward that obedience if you wait on Him, trust in Him and believe He will do exactly what He says He will, but only when the time is right.

Aren't second chances awesome?  Thank God for His Grace!

JOY