Divorced and Dating, Part 2

Wading out into the waters of dating again after a hiatus can be scary, but if you go about it in the right way, it can be quite wonderful, too!  I think you need to really listen to God and analyze WHY you are dating or wanting to date someone?  And I think you need to pray...A LOT..to empty your hands of the control and let God do what He does best.  Depending on how you go about it, dating can be a distraction or a blessing.  Your heart and how you let God move in the situation makes the difference in which way things will progress.

After you are divorced, everyone wants to give you advice, set you up with their friend, or just get you out of the house.  They think you are lonely and they want you to be "happy" so of course dating is the answer to that problem, right?  Sounds logical to me!  I will have to say, I get a whole lot of bad advice that I discard, but many more give me Godly advice that really makes a lot of sense.  I wish I had been mature enough to receive it ten years ago.  So today, I want to share the Top Ten helpful dating suggestions...in no particular order of course!

1. Let God pick your dates/future mate...He will direct you to the right person in His timing when you are ready.
2. Be sure this person becomes a friend...and I mean a best friend...and develop that friendship way before any relationship blooms.  Take it slow!  Get to know one another!  Spend a LOT of time talking and knowing one another on a heart level first.
3. You will attract someone right where you are at (think about that one for a second!)...so be sure you are dating out of the right frame of mind and heart and that you are "at" the right place with God.
4. Anyone that slows you down or gets you off course spiritually is dangerous...CUT AND RUN!  They should build you up in the Lord and be running the same race with you or encourage you forward, never backwards.
5. Put God central in any relationship and never put any relationship as an idol before Him.  He is your source for happiness...keep it that way.
6. Purity is of utmost importance always, but particularly for those of us who have experienced infidelity and adultery.  If you can't stay pure in a dating relationship, how will you be able to trust that person in the future and know they have self control if the relationship goes the distance to marriage?
7. If there are any "red flags" or checks in your spirit about the other person, there's your answer.  Don't hang around or convince yourself they will change.  Dating is NOT marriage!  You can stop seeing them NOW before things get more advanced and it becomes more difficult to untangle yourself emotionally from the relationship.  Wait for God's best for your life and do not let the enemy tempt you with any less. 
8. Be yourself, be genuine, give the other person hard tests to see their true motives, and see if you both still like what you see!
9. The couple that prays together, stays together.
10. After a year of dating the same person, if you honestly can't say that this person is "THE ONE" God has picked for you to marry and you still don't have peace about that, then you should really analyze the relationship and make some tough decisions.  (Not saying you should marry at this point by any means, but you should have some inkling of God's direction for the relationship by this point).

There are many more but these are ones that have impacted me.  The best advice I can give to anyone is pray, pray, PRAY! He will open or shut doors as need be, but you must be willing to be obedient and let things play out in His time table, and not your own!

Just my 2 cents...anyone else have any advice they want to share?

JOY