Thursday, October 20, 2011

Someone Pinch Me!

As I sit here at my desk today, I can't believe that in 48 hours, I will be Mrs. Rex Neely.  Someone needs to come over to my office and pinch me so I can make sure this has not all been a dream!  Sure, I'm excited about going to Florida, having a beautiful wedding on the beach with the man I love and getting to spend a week uninterrupted, just the two of us.  Who wouldn't be excited about that?  But more than that, I can't wait to be married to this man and just do life with him every day and see God's promises to me fulfilled.

You see, back before Rex was even in the picture, God sent me to His word over and over to specific promises in Isaiah that I WOULD be married, I WOULD have a family and He WOULD restore all I lost double-fold.  Over and over again, He assured me that life was not over...quite the opposite, it was finally going to begin.  I clung to those promises and the verses of Jeremiah 29:11 and Habakkuk 2:3 that God did have a plan and a purpose for me; it just wasn't the right time just yet.  I believed it all, but it was very hard to wrap my head around at that time.  It all seemed so...impossible?  Unlikely?  Crazy?  But our God is a crazy, out-of-the-box type of God!

So fast forward to when Rex and I began to just reconnect friend-wise.  We had shared a lot of time talking, texting, and emailing and just rekindling the friendship from years past.  I went home one weekend to visit my family, and he invited me to his church, as he was leading worship that weekend.  I sat next to his parents during the service and I was floored by the worship music and reminded of how very talented he was and I thoroughly enjoyed it all.  But, right in the middle of the worship set, God spoke a word over me that literally made me look around to see if anyone else had heard it!  Loud and clear, He said that THIS MAN would be my husband (and of course I started to cry).  Again, in this moment, he and I just being friends, that seemed so bizarre.  There was no romance yet or even dating.  I had been praying for God to pick out my husband for me if He so desired as I did a pretty awful job of that the last go-round.  But Rex Neely?  The guy who had been a friend forever and I grew up with?  Who actually SANG AT MY FIRST WEDDING (who says God doesn't have a sense of humor!?)?  It's not that I was not attracted to him; I thought he was the greatest thing since sliced bread!  But, I didn't think he thought of ME in that way.  And of top of all of that, I was so far from being interested in dating much less marriage in that moment!  I almost felt guilty sitting next to his family having these thoughts...like they might figure it out and someone would escort me out of the church in a straight jacket!  I told very few people of this experience because, let's face it, it made me look like a nut!  The people I did tell prayed along side of me...prayed for doors to close or open according to God's will for my life.  I guess I don't have to tell you what happened from there...

This weekend, some friends had an engagement party for us and these were the same friends that have been through hell with me in the past, who prayed for me and believed in God's faithfulness despite some dark times in my life.  It was so wonderful to be able to celebrate and laugh and just see God's hand all over the past years.  One of them wrote to me on Monday and I wanted to share an excerpt from her email as I couldn't describe the present time any better:

      "Do you remember that huge jet fuel tanker that wrecked and blew up in Roanoke on 114 about a month or so ago? It burned for so long, like 8 or 9 hours. Just HUGE fireballs and thick black smoke all afternoon and evening. I pass the scorched median and the road with the blackest of black burns on my way to work each morning. Today the traffic was backed up so what I would usually zip right past, I had a chance to sit and stare at for a minute. The Earth there is just obliterated. I mean, if you looked at it now and had never seen it before you’d think it was never going to recover. Just raw! Having seen it every day though, I’ve seen small improvements in the time since. Today though, I can see these brilliantly green, though few and far between, blades of grass starting to poke up in the midst of this char. It reminded me of your situation and how God is at work even when things look completely hopeless from our perspective. I love that God took what Satan intended for evil and pain and brought abundant beauty and joy out of the ashes. I mean, this has to be a little surreal for you…who would have thought, on your very worst day in your darkest hour during the divorce, that God already knew His plan for you and it was going to be SOOOO good?!?! I love that God was already at work within your heart and in Rex’s to prepare you each for the other. That little bit of bright green grass this morning was God using nature to remind me of the hope that is always there when we trust in Him. I am so, so grateful for a front row seat to watch this miracle that has taken place in your life. I barely know Rex but I absolutely love him because I feel like I’ve seen God’s fingerprints on everything that has happened between y’all. He is the human answer to all of our prayers for you but SOOO much better than we even knew to ask God for."


So now, you understand why I sit here, in awe and amazement at what God has done and what events have unfolded to have me preparing for my wedding day to the man God promised to me some time ago.  It is a wonderful feeling to see His promises come full circle and for Him to answer my prayers in such a real and tangible way.  And God did bring me a double portion because I'm not just getting one man...I'm getting two with Rex and his son, Brady! How's that for being very intentional and specific?!  There is such peace, joy and contentment as I prepare to make a covenant to the man God created specifically for ME...it's a feeling that just can't be described.  I love the fact that the Lord loves me that much to give me such a sweet second chance for a do-over here on Earth.  God is good and faithful to complete what He starts...even if sometimes we just can't understand the time frame.  Wait for it...it certainly will come!

Headed to the chapel,

Joy Almost-Neely :)

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