What A Difference A Year Makes!!!

It's hard to believe that a short year ago, on this day at this exact hour, I was sitting at this same desk in the same chair and I was hanging up the same phone after my paralegal confirmed that yes, my divorce had been finalized in the State of Texas.  I remember shedding only a few tears that day, and just having a strange sense of peace wash over me, as in...it is finished.  Gone was the fear that I had before and now present was a sense of  "greater things are yet to come".  I cannot describe the moment adequately, but I felt God was going to do something in my life out of that pain.  I mean, let's face it, He had already begun a huge work in me during that time period...but I just knew it wasn't over yet!  At that time, I just couldn't fathom what that was going to look like...but I trusted Him enough to know that He always keeps His promises and He had some pretty big plans for me.

Fast forward a year to today...and the joy God has brought to me has been nothing short of amazing.  I often have to say "did that really all happen?"  Yep, it sure did.  But, it truly is a distant memory just one short year later.  God has healed me completely to the point that you can't even see a scar where that hurt and heart break was in my life.  I used to always wonder if there would be a piece of me that would just stay broken, wouldn't heal, and always feel the pain of that past mistake. If I'm being truthful, I thought I would always be just a tiny bit damaged.  Nope.  Not in the least.  And that surprises even me on some days.  What God has done is to wipe away all of that pain and disappointment, frustration and hurt from my life because He loves me THAT much.  He's not made me wallow in my failure, but quite the opposite...He has rewarded my faithfulness and He's embraced me and showed me He was in control the entire time.
When my trials began, my pastor spoke some words of truth to me that I have never forgotten.  He said, "Out of this brokeness, God is going to do amazing things and one day, maybe five years from now, you are going to look back and be able to see His hand on your life guiding you every step of the way".  I clung to that and I hoped for that but in the midst of the pain, it was really hard to comprehend.  Now, on the other side of the fire, it's much easier to see a chain of events that have unfolded in my life and continue to unfold and to know, without a shadow of a doubt, that God has pre-ordained it all.  There is no other explanation possible!  About a year ago, my sister spoke the same type of truth over me, basically saying that I needed to hold on because I had no way of knowing what the future had in store for me, but it could and would be better than before.  I wanted to say HOGWASH at the time, but now, I see she was more than right (she's already inserted her I TOLD YOU SO's don't you worry!).  One year later, not only am I happy again, but I'm HAPPIER than I ever have been in my life.  I'm just full of joy for what the Lord has done in my life!  It's the type of happiness that can only come from Him.  He's restored all I lost, there's no doubt about that...but He's brought me MORE.  It boggles my mind somedays, and I had a season of my life where I just didn't feel worthy of all the joy I was experiencing...but He got me over that, too!  I've never felt such peace in my life.  It's the kind of peace that just washes over you and keeps you centered.  And that's an amazing feeling. 

At this point, the rest of my journey is left unwritten...but I know God sees the entire picture and He has a perfect plan and perfect timing.  I trust in Him for the outcome in the next year and there forward.  I'm still learning, I'm still growing, I'm still being transformed and that will not ever change.  I see my trials and the last year as a gift from God, a vehicle of sorts to get me to God's best for my life, which is what He wanted all along.  I realize that the entire time I was praying for one person, God was answering my prayers in a completely different way as only He can do.  I could only see what was right in front of me...but God thought and wanted bigger for me, His best.  Prayers that I thought went unanswered were actually answered in a different, much, MUCH better way.  I see that I could have never prayed for where I'm at right now in life because I honestly did not know it existed.  How do you pray for the unimaginable?!  But, in God's wondrous power, He truly has delivered to me MORE than I could have ever asked for or imagined.  How sweet it is...

I can only sum it up in one way...

Blessed!

JOY