It's been a week since I've blogged but I wanted to be sure and not leave anyone hanging on this topic! I promised three parts, so three parts I will deliver! Thank you for all the positive feedback on this subject matter...it really has warmed my heart to get messages from many of you in all walks of life...single, divorced, dating, young and old (like me!). The fact that Part 1 and Part 2 are in my top 5 blogs viewed of all time speaks volumes to me. I'm glad I got out of my comfort zone and I wrote them now! So, bottom line...thank you!
One of the things that God has revealed to me this time around dating deals with control. In the past, I see that in any type of relationship, particularly a dating relationship, I kept all the control and I pushed my own agenda forward in pretty much every situation. I ignored every red flag and burning bush the Lord might have thrown my way; I ignored friends and family who loved me and tried to speak words of caution into my life; and I did not seek God's will for my life or the relationship. Looking back, I see God put a lot of checks into my Spirit...I just flat did not listen. Like an obstinate child, I really, truly believed I knew best. How prideful and how stubborn was THAT?!
If you are going to start a dating relationship and keep God first, you need to be really seeking God's will every second of the day and give HIM the control! I have specifically asked God to close certain doors (He hasn't) and open others (He has) and make the paths straight and clear even for a slow learner such as me; I've asked friends that I walk with in accountability to pray for the situation AND to speak words of truth and caution into my life when need be (they do, they have and I have listened!); and I've asked the Holy Spirit to guide me and keep me very sensitive to any checks in my Spirit along the way. Another very important question to ask: is the person you are dating doing the same?! Because if they are not...that's a HUGE red flag in itself!!! Dating is a test, plain and simple but it's not a requirement. You don't HAVE to date anyone! Question yourself and be real with the answers: Do you like what you see in that person at all stages? How are they when things don't go their way? Does their walk line up with their talk or is it lacking? And bottom line...is the Lord giving you peace about it all? If He's not, better think twice. Be alert, be self-controlled and be cautious who you give your heart away to and let the Lord be your guide at all times!
I talked about this in Part 2 but I think being friends first and foremost is so very important! Too often we rush into a relationship and get all "serious" without really getting to know the person on a deeper level. For me this time around, a deepened friendship developed over nearly a six month period until we both could honestly say we were each other's best friends. It was like the Lord was allowing a foundation to be built one brick at a time in the proper order and He kept things from getting out of order. It was slow, but steady progress and I wouldn't change a thing because now, as it has deepened into a dating relationship, I know this person inside and out from MONTHS of talking and sharing and I have no doubts about who he is and where he stands with God. God knows just what we need and how we need it and I believe being friends and not skipping over that step is imperative. That's how trust is built, but too often we speed by it in pushing our own agenda. AND if you start slow and build a friendship first, you may just be able to see that person isn't the "one for you" early on and save yourself some heart ache down the road! Once again, allowing God to control each step, is essential. He's sees the bigger picture that is just not visible to us quite yet!
In ending this series, let me just say that when you keep God central in your life in every way, including dating, the results are nothing short of amazing. I have NEVER dated this way in the past and I'm constantly blown away by what God is doing and how awesome things can be already at this stage. I had it so wrong in the past and honestly, was just short-changing myself all along. What God wants for us is so much better than what our tiny little brains can envision!!! I've gotten a glimpse into what can happen when you empty YOUR hands of control and put it all in GOD'S hands...and it is incredible that God truly can and will do more than you ask or imagine. Take it from me, it is well worth the wait to do it the right way, God's way...He will reward that obedience if you wait on Him, trust in Him and believe He will do exactly what He says He will, but only when the time is right.
Aren't second chances awesome? Thank God for His Grace!
JOY
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