When Holidays Hurt

Not so long ago, I spent Christmas alone and isolated.  It has been a few years back, but I don't think I will ever forget that time period of my life.  When you find yourself alone, suddenly, in early November, you begin to realize how many celebrations occur between November to February (for the record...there's a bunch!) and how empty it can feel when you don't have someone to share in those times.  Those dates on the calendar that everyone else happily anticipates...you dread and cringe as they approach.  I have first-hand knowledge of that emptiness, so my heart goes out to those of you who are alone this Christmas season.  It can be a very difficult, depressing, and non-joyful time for those that are struggling with losses.

Here's the thing...the Christmas I spent alone turned out to be one of the very best in some very non-traditional ways.  Because of prior plans with my own family, we celebrated the holiday the week before Christmas.  I had friends take me in and invite me to their gatherings for Christmas Eve and Day locally, but here's where that whole "planning" thing came to bite me yet again.  All my planning did not factor in the fact that a great blizzard would hit North Texas that particular Christmas.  The roads were treacherous as I drove home from a Christmas Eve service at my church and by Christmas morning, we had what we never have here in Texas....a beautiful WHITE Christmas.

Everyone else was celebrating and staying indoors with their loved ones, opening gifts around the fire, and probably celebrating the fact that it was too icey to get on the roads to Grandma's house, while I realized the thing I feared the most had just happened.  Yep, I was alone, trapped at my house, secluded out in the country for Christmas.  What a loser I felt like in that moment!  I was determined to make the most of the situation and I spent a lot of time that day in prayer and reading my Bible.  And as only the Lord can do, He turned what could have been a very depressing day into a great and memorable day.  Through His word, He revealed so many things to me that turned out to be blueprints for the future, even if I couldn't fathom the how's and why's quite yet. His presence was so heavy and tangible that day, I ended up not feeling alone at all.  I was so excited about the revelations He gave to me, that I called an emergency meeting of all my prayer group and friends for a few days later!  I think they were worried I was going to be a mess when they showed up, but instead I was re-charged and energized for the fight I had ahead.  Looking back, that was a pivotal moment for me and it was a turning point in my struggles.  Not to say, it was all rosey and uphill from there because there were some dark, painful, and tough times ahead.  But I see that particular Christmas as a turning point in my walk with the Lord.  I really understood what it meant to lay it all down and let Him be my Comforter and my every present help in times of trouble.  I now see that snowstorm as a gift from God...it made me slow down, and in the isolation He did His best work in me.

So what could have been a no-good-very-bad-terrible day, turned into a wonderful day.  I ended up outside making snowmen, spending time in my barn with my horses in the snow and just being happy to be right where I was in that moment because I had the comfort of God's plan and it was going to be good despite what my current circumstances looked like.  Now, a few years down the road, as I approach this Christmas, I'm so very thankful that I allowed that work to be done in me.  It was painful and it was a tough process, but I wouldn't have the happiness I have today if it wasn't for those tough times.  I'm also thankful for that Christmas, because it MADE me focus on the real reason and meaning for the season.  Everything else had been stripped away, so I was forced to get back to the basics.  Turns out, that's where the real JOY of Christmas was all along!

For those of you who find yourself NOT looking forward to the holiday season everyone else is so ecstatic and crazed about...I encourage you to find the good in your situation.  Draw near to God and He for sure will draw near to you.  This is a season in your life and it won't last forever.  There are good days, full of laughter and happiness ahead.  Trust in your LORD and SAVIOR...the very same one that had the ultimate plan that Christmas night so many years ago to send a baby into this fallen world, in order that we could one day have eternal life with HIM...that same Lord is still on the throne.  He's still in control and He's still the King.  If HE can come up with that plan...well then, He can do anything He wants in our little lives if we let Him have the reins and be the ONE in control!

Listen to one who has been there, done that and has the T-shirt...life as you know it will get better.  I promise. Let Go and Let God do a work in You!

Isaiah 43:19
See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.


Praying for the hurting this Christmas,

JOY