So, as I was in Boerne this past weekend and after the big hoopla party on Saturday, Sunday, we went to FBC Boerne where Holly and Shannon attend church (and when I say "we", I mean the WHOLE family, both sides...we took up an entire long pew!) and at the end of the service, the kiddos were presented before the church for a baby dedication. We, as a family, all stood up front with them (after shameless-ley taking a bunch of pics) and along with the pastor and church congregation, prayed over their family and dedicated that EACH of us would dedicate ourselves to praying for them and participate in guiding them in a Godly way. It was a very sweet, and important time, as we all made a promise before God to do whatever it takes personally to grow them into mighty warriors for the Kingdom!
For the two days since, I just can't stop thinking about that, but how it relates to the marriage ceremony. Although we didn't take a convenant on Sunday at the baby dedication, each one of us took it very seriously. Similarly, the marriage ceremony is when two people make a covenant, the strongest promise we can make here on Earth mind you, to God that no matter what, we will be there for each other and that what God joins together, let no man separate...right?! And as bridesmaids, groomsmen and attenders of the wedding, aren't we all there as witnesses dedicating ourselves to pray for that couple, support them, be there when the chips are down, encourage them through the valleys and mountain top experiences? Then, answer me this...why is it so accepted when people throw in the towel and get divorced? I will let you think on this for a moment...
(**cue the crickets chirping, dead silence and loud gulp by everyone reading this**)
Due to my experience, a lot of women open up to me now about their marital problems (and as one dear friend so eloquently put it, I wasn't approachable before because everyone thought I had it all together...wow, how sad is that as I was missing the boat with people I cared about the most and didn't even know it). I am so humbled and honestly, I feel like the LAST person on Earth that should be offering advice but all I can do is tell others what God has done to me and through me during this period and hope that HIS light shines through and HIS message is heard...not mine. Many of the people I talk to at some point in the conversation tell me that someone else is encouraging them to leave the marriage. Wow...talk about a back seat driver.
But I will tell you this, I am extremely sensitive to how this world portrays divorce. It honestly is a laughable matter to many and that just sets my teeth on edge to be quite frank. Even people who have BEEN THROUGH IT, just laugh it off...well we all knew that one wouldn't work out! It just makes me sick...we, as the world, have bought in to the lie and accepted that 52% of marriages bust up and "that's okay". Or the ones that truly drive me nuts are the people that encourage others to leave their marriage and convince them that divorce is the easy road...there would have to be some SERIOUS reasons for me to ever encourage someone to leave their marriage (and there are those reasons for sure so don't get me wrong...but that's not for today's topic!). Move on...get a new husband/wife that gets you...all your problems will be fixed now...YOU DESERVE IT/BETTER...you're young and got so much life to live...next time around will be better...do I need to tell you more or do you get the point? Folks, those are lies...do you know that 70%+ of second marriages fail?! And 80% of 3rd marriages, etc...you get the point. Now, I do have to throw in a disclaimer that I do know people that have married a second time and God has blessed their union and they are truly happy but that is because they learned the lessons from the first time and didn't repeat the same mistakes they did the first time around. But, not one of those people can say that there wasn't a LOT of pain through their divorce and I bet not one of them would laugh off their divorce or anyone elses nor would they wish that pain on their worst enemy.
I hope I didn't offend anyone by what I wrote today as that is not my intention...but I wanted to make the point that if you don't stand for something...you will fall for everything. If every one of us would take a stand on the side of marriage for our friends, our family and dedicate ourselves to praying for one another, being real with one another, encouraging one another and not accepting divorce as an easy out...don't you think we might change the perception around marriage and maybe, just maybe the statistics of failed marriages would drop? And at the very least, quit blowing off the importance of the covenant? If every person stopped using divorce as a threat in an argument, or saying "my next husband...", or just stopped laughing everytime someone said so and so got divorced and saying "big suprise"...basically made divorce "un-cool"...what would happen?
It's just a thought and I will leave that one hanging...but just thinking that we all need to revamp how we look at the union of marriage.
Standing on the side of marriage,
JOY
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