The month of November has always been "my month"...the most exciting time of the year for me because it contains a nationally known, world famous date...my birthday! I always get made fun of because I don't celebrate a day, I celebrate a week or longer if I can get away with it! When asked what my favorite holiday is, I always say my birthday! I know it is silly to some, but it's my day and I love the attention and suprises and the fun that I don't have to share with anyone else. It's just the way I feel and I blame my mother for spoiling me!
With that being said, obviously last November was chalked up to the worst birthday EVER on record...as in my husband left me three days before it. Sure, my sister and my best friend flew in and tried their level best to make it a fun day...and we did have fun...but we all ignored the big elephant in the room that my life was falling apart and none of us knew would happen next. Those are true friends that drop everything (including kids) and are there for you when you are hurting and do their best to put on a happy face when they were scared for me and dying inside as well. But they never let it show. Holly & Brandi...thank you...you both are God's precious gifts to me! So, I mean no disrespect to them when I say last year my birthday sucked...there is no nice way to put it and I know they understand the point I'm making. So, as I have begun to approach a lot of those "negative year marks" this year, I secretly wished October wouldn't end because I didn't know how I would feel when the calendar flipped to November.
This past weekend marked a turning point in the dissolution of my marriage last year (didn't know it at the time but that's how it turned out) and I didn't know how I would feel about that this year. I was fortunate (okay God laid it out and I know that) to be surrounded on Satuday by amazing prayer warriors and visionarians and just had an awesome day in the Lord. I was in East Texas and the drive down was beautiful and again, I realize I miss home and still consider that home. I did a lot of driving this weekend and I do some of my best thinking and praying while I travel and all is quiet and this was no different. I realized that God has really helped me to erase the bad memories of the past year and focus on the positive things instead and these milestones are not actually negative but they are touchstones on how far I've come with God's guidance. And that's something to be celebrated, not be afraid of! I got to spend some time with my dad and we even got to see my Aggies whip up on those Sooners Saturday night, so it doesn't get much better than that! Sunday, I went to a friend's church and the message was on endurance...what a perfect word to describe the last year for me! There have been times I wanted to quit this race, didn't think I could take another step, but God gently nudged me forward. Sometimes I didn't even know why, but I chose to be obedient and He's blessed that. It wasn't easy and it sure wasn't fun at times but I'm glad I didn't quit. And I see our walks with Christ as just that...a marathon to be run. Sometimes there are hills to go up and you are struggling during those miles, but other times, you are coastiing downhill and life is just easy. They all add up and they are all part of the same race---you can't have the downhills without the uphills or the flat sections. It's just part of the race plain and simple. This weekend turned out to be just a really cool time and I can honestly say, I enjoyed every minute of it!
A year ago, I just couldn't see a down the road, nor did I want to I don't think. I was scared and insecure. But now, here I sit a year later and I can honestly say, life is so sweet! I've moved out of the pain and I've accepted what blows have come to me. It's just the path I had to take. I'm not bitter, I'm not angry, in fact, I'm extremely JOYFUL and confident in what God is doing in my life! And that is only by God's hand, as it is nothing I could have ever done on my own. So, in the next year, I'm excited to look forward with hope to see what God will bring into my life. I'm celebrating ALL MONTH long and just giving thanks for the blessings in my life!
To end this, I have to share one last thing...as I was pulling in to Ponder last night, I was praying about some things and asking for guidance and clarity and direction. At that moment, my XM radio came on and the song playing was David Crowder's "Oh Praise Him". You may be thinking, what's the big deal? The big deal is this...my little XM box has not worked since THIS SUMMER in my truck--it has sat there blank and dead for months with no signs of life, even with me trying to tinker with it. And since it hasn't worked, when it was time to renew two months ago, I just let the service lapse. So, I haven't even PAID for the service in months! I about ran off the road when I realized it was on!!! I promise, I can't make this stuff up---it actually happened! So, I took it as God's little reminder to just praise Him for everything in my life. He's got the details all figured out so I just need to chill out and let Him handle things as He's way more capable than me! (And another note...after that song finished, it quit working and hasn't worked today at all so it wasn't just a fluke!)
Counting my blessings and celebrating this November!
JOY
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